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#2877636 Random Thought Of The Day

Posted by M J W J on 19 August 2013 - 09:53 PM

This is a thread for when you have one of those random thoughts or realisations in life. This happens a lot to me when I am bored at work.


Please add you own so we can all have a ponder as well? Maybe we can answer a few of them and take away the mystery.


A few I've had in the last couple of weeks that might make you think and to get us started.


Today at work I noticed on our milling machine that there is a picture of a Tortoise and a Hare next to the handle which sets the speed. In all the time I have worked in the workshops I've not had to use the miller. I do know how to set them up but it did make me wonder: If I turn the handle towards the tortoise, does that mean that the machine will work slower but is more likely to finish my work and if I turn it towards the Hare then it will work faster but part way through it will take a break part way through and actually be slower overall (please read Aesop's fables if you don't get this)?


One I had on the weekend. After not having anymore sucess, I realised that dating sites have exactly the same problem as meeting a girl in a pub etc. The single ones are usually either complete nut jobs or are really quiet so won't talk to you. You rarely get a reply to a message. IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO AT LEAST ATTEMPT TO TALK TO SOMEONE YOU WILL NEVER FIND SOMEONE! The only difference between a pub and a dating site is that it robs you of £25 a month. Also there are some really optimistic people on them and some people who I could best describe using a phrase that contains the words "barge" and "pole" comes to mind. One girl who did speak to me... Just... WOW! If I explain I will get kicked of TMF... I did find myself being really shallow when using a dating site. I need to meet a girl badly  :(


And one from last week when I was working in the computer suit at work. One woman made a comment that the two giant pipe clamps I had looked like some S&M gear (not sure why, couldn't see it myself). Afterwards while I was redesigning a part so it could be injection moulded it occurred to me that someone, somewhere probably has a CAD file for the "adult stuff" in an Ann Summers store. All my files are labelled things such as 'Handle mount mk3 and 'Pipe duct 11 revision 8' etc. It makes you wonder what their files are called?


While you are at it feel free to have a rant. I feel much better after writing that lot.


Stay tuned. More to come from the strange mind of MJWJ...

#3108999 Just For The 'pun' Of It

Posted by Ben_O on 27 July 2014 - 06:24 PM

Know a good pun or have a random mind like me with all kinds of 'punny' junk spilling out.


Share it here!


Ill start..


An angry bird landed on a door knob. Then flew off the handle.


Enjoy and join in!



#2878992 Random Thought Of The Day

Posted by davej on 21 August 2013 - 08:19 PM

Ok yes it was a Morrisons and a Shell so I agree the Shell will be better but in todays economic climate how many people can justify the extra. My daily is a mk5 golf gti which is supposed to run on the 99 stuff, it only gets a tank of that with a 5p off tesco voucher or if I'm feeling kind to it. 

#3466789 Adrian Flux

Posted by WillCarter on 26 April 2017 - 09:53 AM

I'm currently 19 and have a year and a half no claims. I went on moneysupermarket with me as the main driver, policy holder and so on, filled everything out honestly with the milage at 7000. The modifications were:
None standard engine
Removal of seats
exhaust changes
uprated brakes
suspension changes
braided brake lines
wider wheels and tyres
wider arches
interior changes
dashboard changes
sports steering wheel
roll bars
replacement seats

Got a quote from complete driver as £4700

Adrian Flux £650 with no named drivers and £250 compulsory.

#3350333 Can You Help A Fellow Mini Guy In A Nasty Situation Out?

Posted by Shifty on 19 January 2016 - 06:35 PM

Jeez, that's terrible.


On behalf of TMF have a years free TMF+ membership, it won't buy you a mini but will give you some discount on spares when you get another


Good luck with your search

#3154177 Cancer Treatment

Posted by racingbob on 16 October 2014 - 11:40 AM

I'm a quarter of the way thro my prostate cancer treatment


37 days every day except weekends


taking female hormone therapy and radiation


starting feel the weakness now and tiredness


worse thing is you have to drink 4 glasses of water


to fill your bladder and hold it for half hour its like being tortured


that's the stressful bit not the radiation you don't feel anything


so you guys reading this over 50 keep an eye on things in that area


and catch it early


#2877983 Random Thought Of The Day

Posted by Tamworthbay on 20 August 2013 - 02:42 PM

Just walked through the dining hall and had one of these thoughts, well...
What would happen if no-one had invented curtain rails? There would just be curtains all over the floor. It would be mad. Or would then then just be rugs? And would we need rugs if there was no curtain poles?
This stuff is greater than us all -_-

No need for curtain rails, god gave us nails to sort all these little problems. And gaffer taper and WD40, most things in life sorted ;-)
And a hammer. 
And yup, gaffer tape... to fix what you've just broke when fixing it with the hammer.
Round here its known as a Birmingham, screwdriver
I am enlightened

I often like to call it the persuasion stick.
Jmmini - Your sig, I knew I've seen it somewhere before..  I've also become part of the "Mini Punch" game ..  :shades:
Also known as a scouse socket set. I call it percussive maintenance and is 100% effective. Think of it this way, if its broke and you hit it there are two outcomes. It stays broke in which case you have lost nothing or by some miracle it is fixed then you are a winner. Either way you can't lose ;-)

#3442538 My New Amc Moke Project -Desert Rat Sleeper

Posted by HUBBA.HUBBA on 08 January 2017 - 03:56 PM

Very pleased with my AMC Cub bought yesterday. Been umming and arrring about what to create. Sleeper,Rat look, military or all the above. Perhaps a super charged, desert rat look!

20170108_124626.jpg 20170108_124611.jpg index-3.jpeg

A kind of moke hummer

#2381539 Instagram

Posted by [email protected] on 21 February 2012 - 11:12 AM

Does anyone use it?

im "lilpinkiy" if you are and want to follow and i'll follow you.  need some mini people

#1346081 Converting To A Centre Speedo

Posted by Retro_10s on 16 February 2009 - 08:50 PM


I've done this conversion, and wrote a little guide for my local club's forum just the other day. I know people probably wont agree with the way I have gone about doing it, but it works........ I'm happy with it...... so just use it for referencing.

Follow this guide at your own risk, if you set your mini on fire its your own fault ;D ;D

What we gonna do?
Most mini's have either the 2 or 3 clock setup which is in front of the driver, so this is a guide on how to convert your wiring loom so that your mini can have a center speedo. I dont cover 'extra' 52mm gauges in this guide such as water temp, etc.

What we gonna need?
- Tools to take your dashboard out. Spanners, sockets, etc.

- Snips, crimps, flathead screwdriver.

- Spade connectors (male & female).

- Cable ties.

- x2 warning lights.

- Insulation tape.

- Super glue / hot glue sticks.

- Voltage Stabiliser.

- A few different coloured lengths of wire.

- Electrical lego bricks (junction connectors? ???)

- Speedo cable threaded at both ends, for a center speedo.

Let us begin.....
Posted Image

First thing you are going to want to do is take the 2/3 clock setup out. So remove the surround by undoing the screws securing it to the bracket. Then undo the bolts holding the clocks to the bulkhead bracket.

To remove the clocks, you need to squeeze the white connector on the end of the speedo cable whilst also pulling it out of the back of the clock. Then unplug the connector (and rev counter cables if you have a 3 clock) and the clocks should be free.

If you are still going to have a rev counter, then make sure once you disconnect the two wires going into the rev counter pod that you label them with masking tape (or an alternative method) so that you arent wondering why there are 2 lose cables behind your dash.

Finally, go into the engine bay and using the correct size socket, remove the 4 nuts securing the bulkhead bracket inside the car. You are now left with lots of open space in front of you :-)

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Now, the plug that fits into the 2/3 clock setup needs to be chopped off so that we can wire in the center speedo. NOTE : Cut the wires about 3inches from the plug so that if you do want to convert back in the future you can rejoin the wires.

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A breakdown of the wire colours :
- Red with green - - - Dash illumination.
- White with brown - - - Oil pressure warning light.
- Brown with yellow - - - Ignition warning light.
- White - - - Ignition live.

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- Green with red - - - Left indicator warning light.
- Black - - - Earth.
- Blue with White - - - High beams warning light.
- Green with blue - - - Water temperature gauge feed.
- Green with back - - - Fuel gauge feed.
- Green with White - - - Right indicator warning light.

Once you have cut the plug off, you will need to strip some of the insulation tape away so you can seperate the wires out.

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Starting with the indicator warning lights, you will need a pair of these....
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.....take the green with red wire and crimp a female spade connector onto it, do the same to the green with white wire too. Now you will need some black (or whatever colour you chose to use as earth) coloured wire and cut two lengths which are slightly longer than the indicator warning light wires. Crimp a female spade connector onto one end of each cable, wrap the four wires into pairs (two per indicator, one black one coloured) and push the spade connectors onto the warning light.

You should have something like this....
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....the bare ends of the black wires will be close to the original loom.

If you want only one single indicator warning light, ie. only one light that flashes when both indicating left and right. Then simply connect the green with red and green with white wires to the same warning light.

Now the main wiring loom that goes to the center speedo needs to be wrapped. Seperate the green with blue wire from the other wires as this is for the water temperate gauge which is not part of the center speedo. You will also need a length of black wire.

Posted Image

Using a single piece of junction connector (or other method if you prefere, such as soldering), strip and insert the black wire that was the original earth for the clocks and the two stripped black wires from the indicator warning lights and tighten the screw to hold them in place. Strip and insert one end of a new length of black wire and tighten the screw down. Wrap this new earth wire with the other coloured wires and you should have something similar to this.

Posted Image

Three sets of wrapped cables. Two for the indicator warning lights and one which is the main wiring loom for the center speedo. Ignore the other things in the photo as I had to do some minor surgery on my loom. ;D

You can test that the indicator warning lights still work by flipping the hazard warning switch, but be sure to test the individual indicators too as you may have accidently disturbed the flasher relay  : :-)

If your center speedo already has bulbs, wiring, etc. then you can skip this section. But if you are unfortunate enough to be in the same situation I was in then, then do read on   ;D ;D

My center speedo had nothing at all, not even bulb holders, so I'm going to show you how to do it from scratch ;D NOTE : I took mine apart to clean so there is no mechanism inside which is why you cannot see the speedo drive thread.

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Firstly had to super glue some rubber washers over the illumination holes, all will be revealed as you read on.

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Secondly needed a voltage stabiliser to get the fuel and water temperate gauges working.....

This is the time when you are going to need lots of different coloured wires.

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The voltage stabiliser requires earthing, so unless you are going to earth your center speedo in some other way you will need to run a short length of black cable from the voltage stabiliser to the earth on the loom. For the fuel gauge to work you will need to crimp and run a short length of wire (yellow) from the I connector on the voltage stabiliser to either of the connectors on the fuel gauge.

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This is why I needed those rubber washers, to stop the bulbs from earthing on the speedo's casing. These are just butchered bulb holders from the 3 clock setup I removed, I'm sure there are better ways of going about it but it was my chosen method ;D

Posted Image
This is the wiring loom I made for the center speedo.

- Green - - - Fuel gauge feed.
- Purple - - - High beams warning light.
- Blue - - - Ignition warning light.
- Orange - - - Oil pressure warning light.
- Black - - - Earth.
- White - - Ignition live.
- Red - - - Dash illumination.

Posted Image
This might look like a mess, but if you follow the wiring diagram I pictured further up then you can just look at this picture for reference. I have used three bigger junction connectors as there are more than 2 wires going into them.

The final step is to join the new wiring loom (or the one already existing on your speedo if your lucky enough!) to the one in your mini using junction connectors (or your prefered method). If you have followed my wire colouring scheme then this how the wires will join up :

- Green with black > Green - - - Fuel gauge feed.
- Blue with white > Purple - - - High beams warning light.
- Brown with yellow > Blue - - - Ignition warning light.
- White with brown > Orange - - - Oil pressure warning light.
- Black > Black - - - Earth.
- White > White - - Ignition live.
- Red with green > Red - - - Dash illumination.

If you have existing wires on your speedo, then you will have to look at the pictures and wiring diagram and work it out yourself :whistling:/

Thread your new speedo cable onto the speedo drive in the engine bay, feed it through the bulkhead, and then gently thread it onto the back of the center speedo. The only way your gonna know if you done it right is to go for a spin ;D

Posted Image
If your wiring is any good, then when you turn the ignition on you should be greeted by a green and a red light until you start the engine. They should both go out after a couple of seconds so if they stay on you either have a problem with your wiring somewhere or something wrong with your engine ;D The fuel gauge will also start creeping up too.

Hope this guide helps anyone who is looking to convert to center speedo, it's DIY at its finest so follow this guide at your own risk. ;D

Good luck!


#3116184 Mini Stance

Posted by Chris1992 on 08 August 2014 - 11:51 AM

I was thinking more lowrider hopper :P



Looks like a gasser. Just needs exhaust pipes coming from the wheel arches.



well then, are you ready to have your days made? 







thank me later......


can you tell my boss isnt in today? haha  :shifty:

#3109085 Just For The 'pun' Of It

Posted by Ben_O on 27 July 2014 - 07:38 PM

Whilst pepping a car for paint, i would advise the use of tak cloths, especially as they are 'dirt cheap'

#647482 Mini Photo Album

Posted by Teapot on 13 September 2007 - 08:03 PM

Any excuse ......

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#3521711 Brexit: The Movie

Posted by mab01uk on 18 February 2018 - 10:12 AM


"BREXIT THE MOVIE spells out the danger of staying part of the EU. Is it safe to give a remote government beyond our control the power to make laws? Is it safe to tie ourselves to countries which are close to financial ruin, drifting towards scary political extremism, and suffering long-term, self-inflicted economic decline? BREXIT THE MOVIE shows a side of the EU they don't want us to see: the sprawling self-serving bureaucracy, the political cynicism, the lack of accountability, the perks, the waste, the cronyism, the corruption. BREXIT THE MOVIE cuts through the patronizing intellectualism of the noble, higher goals of 'Project Europe', to reveal the self-interestedness of the political-bureaucratic class which runs and benefits from the EU. BREXIT THE MOVIE highlights the danger of becoming a prisoner in an insular, backward-looking Fortress Europe. And it explores the exciting opportunities that open up to us when we look beyond the narrow confines of the EU. BREXIT THE MOVIE looks to the future, arguing forcefully and persuasively that it is safer and wiser to live in a country which is free, independent, self-governing, confident and global."



#3109185 Just For The 'pun' Of It

Posted by lkopferschmitt on 27 July 2014 - 09:56 PM

I hate hoovering, it really sucks...

#2951763 Don't Drink And Drive Your Mini.

Posted by mattdc2r on 17 December 2013 - 08:23 PM

Warning- Christmas cheers! PLEASE READ

With Xmas upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. Don't do it! 
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several beers followed by some excellent wine. 
Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a taxi home. 
Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadside check but since it was a taxi they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. 
This was a real surprise, as I had never driven a taxi before, I don't know where I got it from and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it!


#2590799 Emotions Of A Mini Owner

Posted by brad-the-bear on 13 September 2012 - 09:39 PM

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#3518617 Top Things People Ask/say To You When They See Your Car.

Posted by happydude2012 on 01 February 2018 - 08:06 PM

Ive noticed a pattern to what people say when they see you have a mini, usually on a petrol station forecourt or carpark somewhere, its not a bad thing, its just funny how the same things keep coming up.

What are the things you hear most often, my Mrs laughs now whenever i get out for petrol...because we know the questions will come?


Ill start with some of the most frequent things i get - 99% of the time, these are usually said by men of a certain age.


1)  "....We used to have Minis!"

 Whos we? and how many minis did you have?


2) "We had a Cooper S's".....

Ive never heard anyone say they just had a standard mini. Always had Cooper S.


3) "..Mine had a  (part ive never heard of)........ on it, with a  (part ive never heard of) cam and a super mega double (part ive never heard of_)....we adjusted the.... (now your making this up)..... and tweeked the (other bit that fits onto the super pipe)....which we took off a Morris 1100"   .........and so on....  



4) " We used to have a hole in the floor to let the water out......"  i also have a hole in my floor....but thats a natural hole, thanks to rust. :0


5) "Why dont you buy a big boy car?"

This was literally yelled at me across a forecourt  by this bulging fat arse with 4 chins with cheap knock off sunglasses on sat in a midlife crisis mobile, some convertible Merc - at the time he was sat next to his bright orange blimp of a wife,  i smiled and asked loudly if his car was new? he replied yes and worth 50000 times more than my "clapped out rust bucket"...fair enough, so i asked him if it came with a hairdryer or a nice silver plated shovel to help his wife get her slap on. 

Im sure if he could have got out of his car quickly without looking like a buffalo stuck in a wire fence, he would have slowly and tiredly mad his way over to wave his piggy fist at me.....but he just drove off......and yes you guessed it....foot to the floor and a nice crunch into second....what a cool guy.

#3455831 Caught Me A Scumbag....

Posted by minifreek1 on 09 March 2017 - 05:08 PM


Wife went to her parents house about 10:15 because they are getting on a bit now and she hasnt seen them for a week or so....

I was upstairs in our bedroom...

I had just got changed into my scruffs, because Im doing a bit of decorating in my sons room, thought Id just check email and have a quick look on Ebay....

Dog started to bark, he does this if the wind changes direction - but I looked on the CCTV cameras anyway and saw nothing, so thought nothing of it....

A minute or so went by, and out the corner of my eye I saw a shadow... thinking that maybe my middle lad had come home from school early... went to see what he came home for... some fella was stood with his back to me, then turned round... honestly I **** meself, then andrenalin started to kick in, I grabbed hold of him and started to ask questions like... who the F are you....? What the F are you doing in my sons room etc.... He said he was a taxi driver and his fair had just run off from him and he was looking for someone called John... I escorted him via his throat down the stairs to find this 'taxi'... then he said his 'mate' was driving the taxi and must have drove off finding this fella called John...

We went outside, saw no taxi, he started to struggle and plead with me to let him go and he couldnt breathe... I wasn't letting him go, nor was I loosening my grip of him.... went back into my house to get my phone to call police, he started pushing me back, I dragged him outside again and threw him to floor... Now anyone thats ever met me will tell you Im not exactly big, maybe a bit fat but not big, Im 5'5 1/2 and 14 stone.... at this point there was a neighbour walking by with her dog and baby in pram, she stopped and saw what had happened and asked do I need Police, yes was the answer.... she called the Police and went about her business.... I had him pinned up against our front fence and front of our house with my elbow on his throat and my other hand gripping his coat.... I loosened my grip a little bit as he was turning blue and gasping for breath, as he started to sit down he pushed me away from him and pissed off.... I chased after him, I cant run and he was getting away from me, fortunately another neighbour must have heard the shouting etc... and saw this fella running from me.... he rugby tackled him to the ground, thankfully... I caught up and knelt on his chest, this time I wasnt gonna let go of him if he turned blue or any other colour... I dragged him back to my house and waited for the Police to turn up.... it fealt like ages but was only a couple of minutes of that....

Anyhoo the long and short of it, a scumbag is off the street, Im not hurt - I cant say that he isnt...

Iv had the Police onto me this morning telling me that he was kept in custody overnight, he will be going to court today, and confident he will get a couple of years away.

He's been charged with a number of offences, as he'd been into someone else's house before coming to mine....

It seems that just googling his name has brought up a few things about him, he just doesn't learn, do they ever....?

He's called Neil (cant tell you his full name for legal reasons)

Sorry for the long post....

#2618464 There Comes A Time When You Just Have To Say Enough Is Enough.....

Posted by Shifty on 22 October 2012 - 01:54 PM

Excellent idea, you always need a spare.  I've developed a system for buying over the years and its utterly foolproof.

1 - Buy Mini
2 - Take mini off the road to restore
3 - buy 2nd mini to use whilst 1st one is being worked on
4 - Spend the time and money put aside for fixing mini#1 on #2
5 - Realise that you don't stand a chance of getting either of them on the road anytime soon.
6 - Buy another mini to use whilst the first 2 are being worked on
7 - Repeat steps 1 through 6 until skint/out of space/divororced

Its a brilliant system!!

Mini Spares