11 replies to this topic

[DeadSquare]

In these uncertain times, so that we may tender our condolence, will members please let us know when they join the Norwegian Blue Parrot Club.

[Quinlan minor]

In these uncertain times, so that we may tender our condolence, will members please let us know when they join the Norwegian Blue Parrot Club.

You're singing with the choir, there. ??

Edited by Quinlan minor, 28 March 2020 - 10:23 AM.

[panky]

My feet at securely nailed nailed to my perch.

[Itsaminithing]

....will members please let us know when they join the Norwegian Blue Parrot Club.

Having a Compromised Immune Response I've spent several days wondering how i would go about this.

 

I've noticed two re-occurring themes when it comes to Covid 19

       -the requirement to hoard enough bog roll to fill a freight container

       -& the virus being transferred from others to your mouth

 

So i've worked out a theory on how to to reduce the chances of catching corona virus....

                       Don't poop, & Don't lick strangers.

 

[Homersimpson]

They might still die of Coronvirus but at least their arses will be nice and shiney!

[Quinlan minor]

They might still die of Coronvirus but at least their arses will be nice and shiney!

 

Attached Files

•  Take me to your cleaner.jpg   40.31K   4 downloads

[xrocketengineer]

When this whole pandemic thing got started and that it affected old people like me, the first thing that crossed my mind was "I don't want to go in the cart!"

https://youtu.be/Jdf5EXo6I68

[xrocketengineer]

The Ballad of Dunny Roll 

 

[DeadSquare]

The Ballad of Dunny Roll 

 

 

 

 

Nice one, Cobber.

[Cooperman]

Wonderful  .

[DeadSquare]

> Husband:
> My wife is missing.
> She went out yesterday and has not come home...
>
> Sergeant at Police Station:
> What is her height?
>
> Husband:
> I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
>
> Sergeant:
> Weight?
>
> Husband:
> Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
>
> Sergeant:
> Colour of eyes?
>
> Husband:
> Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
>
> Sergeant:
> Colour of hair?
>
> Husband:
> Changes a couple times a year.
> Maybe dark brown now.
> I can’t remember.
>
> Sergeant:
> What was she wearing?
>
> Husband:
> Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
>
> Sergeant:
> What kind of car did she go in?
>
> Husband:
> She went in my Audi
>
> Sergeant:
> What kind of Audi was it?
>
> Husband:
> Audi A6 Avant Black Edition,
> Ambient Lighting pack - A6, Front and outer rear heated seats, Valcona leather - Lunar silver + super sport seats, 3 spoke heated sports leather multifunction steering wheel with paddle shift, LED Matrix headlights with high beam assist, Pearlescent paint, Audi drive select, Audi parking system plus with front and rear sensors, Audible and visual fasten seat belt warning - front and rear, Cruise control, Driver's information system, MMI SD card Navigation, Mobile telephone preparation, PAS, Service interval indicator, 3 point seatbelts on all seats, ABS-EBD, ASR traction control, Curtain airbags, Driver and passenger airbags, Driver-front passenger side airbags, Electromechanical parking brake, Electronic stability control, Front passenger airbag deactivation, Hill hold assist, Tyre pressure monitoring system, Warning triangle and first aid kit, Anti theft alarm, Anti-theft wheel bolts, Immobiliser, Keyless Start, Remote central locking, Audi music interface, Auxiliary input socket, DAB digital radio module, MMI Radio plus with CD player and bluetooth interface, SD card slot, USB connection, 12V power in rear centre console, 4 way electric lumbar support, 4 zone climate control, Aluminium door sill trims, Black cloth headlining, Double cargo floor, Electric front seats + driver memory, Front centre armrest, Front head restraints, Front-rear floor mats, Height adjustable front seats, Isofix front passenger and rear seat preparation, Jack and tool kit, Load lashing points, Luggage compartment cover, Luggage rails, Perforated leather gearknob, Rear headrests, Split folding rear seat, Auto dimming rear view mirror, Automatic headlights + automatic windscreen wipers, Body coloured bumpers, Body coloured door mirrors and handles, Body coloured roof spoiler, Door sill trims with S line logo, Electric front-rear windows, Headlight washers, High gloss black door mirrors, High gloss black finish B pillar, High gloss black triangular aperture at rear door, LED daytime running lights, LED rear lights, Light sensor, Platinum grey front lip spoiler, Privacy glass (to rear of B post), Rain sensor, Rear wiper, Alcantara door trim, Piano black finish inlay, Space saver spare wheel, Black Styling pack - A6 Avant, Non smoking pack - A6, Diesel particulate filter.
>

 

[Itsaminithing]

I think i have worked out the answer to the Toilet Roll hoarding conundrum....

 

This morning i found a lump the size of an egg beside my knee cap.

The thought of a trip to A&E surrounded by possibly contagious diseased individuals filled me with dread.... the term 'relaxed sphincter' doesn't come anywhere near close to what i felt.

No wonder people feel the need to have a plentiful supply on hand.

 

 

NB: Didn't have to make the trip as i've realised it was a 'toilet related injury' 

....not the messy type!, but caused by DIY (having had all my weight resting on one small area of leg for far too many hours).