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Mongol Rally 2008!


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#1 Elfie

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:30 AM

Well... Here goes, part one of my mongol rally experience, beginning from Hartlepool, the morning after our leaving party.
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Having stuck our sponsors logos on and loaded up our kit, we were off! Only to stop 10 minutes later for my mate to pick up some contact lenses from specsavers, then feed his mates cat, then buy some clothes from tesco... ARRRGH, very frustrating.
So, finally, after sitting in the worst traffic jam Hartlepool has ever seen, we were off!
Disaster, however, struck on the supposedly 4 hour journey down to London, which took 7 hours due to an unknown fault that resulted in us only being able to travel at 30mph the whole way, slowing down on hills. We limped into our accomodation in Richmond in low spirits, had we made a massive error? Would we make the start line?
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The next morning, horrific stress, three AA men, a panic and a new condensor later, the van was up and running. The gentlemen rascals had gone down to the start line to see the other cars go off, unsure as to whether the van would be there. Two hours after the official start, as the organisers were taking down the big inflatable start line, we rocked up in our van, running smoothly, with a massive journey infront of us...
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So fresh...
So to Dover, and the next installment of my Mongol Rally Adventure!

#2 Elfie

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Posted 24 September 2008 - 12:03 PM

So... We drive out of Hyde Park, promptly taking the wrong road and having to do two loops through central London. Got loads and loads of funny looks from people and eventually found our way on the road towards Mighty Dover!
Passed a couple of poor souls broken down on the way, no clue if they managed to get any further than that. Arrived at Dover, there were loads of other rally cars there, we got very very giddy. It was so weird knowing that this was the last time for a month that we would not be moving under our own van power.
We waved an excited, slightly aprehensious goodbye to dear old Blighty and we were off on the Mongol Rally proper!
Docking in France about 7pm we soon found that we could go nowhere near as fast as anyone else. Our speedo had stopped working so we had no idea how fast we were going, just that everyone else was much faster. We panicked a little that dreams of vast convoys were not going to happen.
We had nearly ran out of fuel so had to stop off in a tiny dutch village to get fuel. The road to the petrol station was helpfully closed so we had to jerry can it all back to the van. Got some very strange looks.
A little further on we stumbled across another petrol station crammed with other rally cars, including Team U42B team and Sons of the A team, in a Bedford Bambi and Rascal respectively. We had found our convoy! After chatting with Jim, Dave, Paul and Al we found we were going the same route, so set off towards Germany in convoy. Without these guys we would have been totally lost. We only had a world atlas as a map and realised all the place names were in different languages so it was fantastic to follow the others without worry. We drove solidly through the night, with the engine developing knocks and bangs that came and went. In germany we had the first change of spark plugs, which were badly oiled up.
As dawn broke, we stopped to find that our HT leads were melting, so that necessitated a change of those those too.
After breaking down another two times for fairly simple things, we turned up in Klenova, at the castle which housed the first night party.
We set up camp, went and got food, but the 27 hour, 700 mile drive had taken it's toll on me, so I ended up falling to sleep at about 10pm, waking up the next morning a little annoyed I'd missed it.Posted ImageThe Czech Rep was beautiful though, everyone drives battered old Skodas and shops at Liddle.
I was amazed that, after a days drive, we were almost in another world, with totally different culture. It was amazing.
The lads from Great Balls of Fur, doing the Africa Rally gave the van a tune, and were a great help. We learned later that they had been deported a gunpoint at some african border for describing their profession as Beekeeper/Philospoher.
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We set off the next morning for Prague, parked up close to the city centre, and had a wander around, picked up some souveniers and the like.
We found out about a church near Prague which was furnished with bones, the one which Ewan Mcgegor visited on The Long Way Round. We drove for an hour and a half and found the church to be closed, so we set up camp near it and waited till the next morning.
The church was amazing...
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Speaks for itsself really, well worth a visit.

#3 Timtom

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Posted 24 September 2008 - 12:33 PM

Wow. just immense! I'll await the next bits!!

#4 Elfie

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Posted 24 September 2008 - 12:33 PM

After having a walk round the church we followed a road that should have joined us up with the nice smooth motorway out of Prague towards Slovakia. After 2 hours however, the road we were on ended in roadworks, leaving us to try and find our way on roads that were not on our map. A van driver picked us up and told us to follow him, we had no choice and instead of leading us to our deaths, we soon found our way back onto the motorway, which somehow had a bizarre ridged road surface which made everything in the van clatter. We were pulled over 10k from the Slovak border by the most gorgeous police woman in the world!
We had neglected to buy a Czech tax disk, the penalty being a £40 fine. We eventually, through cunning use of flattery and getting her and her attractive colleague to sign the van, bartered the fine down to £15. Result!
We whizzed through Slovakia in a couple of hours, and in Hungary we stopped to help out a team of Irish girls broken down in a micra near Budapest. We waited with them untill the tow truck came, and carried on.
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Budapest sunset

It started raining. Hard. So we parked up by the side of the road, in territory that was looking distictly more soviet for some sleep.
I woke up at around 7 in the morning to pouring rain, rain pouring into my lap, all down my front! We had drilled various holes in the roof of the van, for the hammock, to attatch our mascot, Bacon Posted Image, and the drivers side window frame was broken, so water gushed through that too. I rigged up a system of plastic sheeting to direct this water ingress through a large rust hole in the floor, which allowed me to get another couple of hours sleep.
We started driving early, heading for the Ukraine. The Ukraine border was a faff on, arsey guards, numerous searches and horrible weather. But we were through. I had thought up untill then that Czech, Slovakia etc were fairly soviet and different, but it was nothing compared to the Ukraine. Literally, as we drove over the border bridge, we all felt extremely vunerable. We had left the other Bedfords after the Czech party, so had done the last 2 and a half days alone and we felt very very alone. The place was bleak, grey and very backwards. Huge soviet trucks blazed past us, ladas and moskovichs were battered and there were people walking cows and sheep on bits of string.
We pulled into a petrol station and to our complete delight we saw the others. None of us could believe it, after 60hours we had stopped at the same fuel station in the Ukraine. It felt so good to be back with people we knew.
In these countries there was always someone who filled your car up for you, and this fuel station obviously had a scam going where the attendant filled the cars up with the wrong fuel, so the bambi had a tank of diesel, while another Hungarian man had a tank of petrol in his diesel truck. They were obviously taking advantage of the fact that no-one understood cyrillic.
We carried on through the greyest countryside I have ever seen, and started climbing up and into the mountains. Once above the cloud layer, the weather was better, and the scenery beautiful and mountainous. We stopped every couple of hours for coffee and Shasklik, a tasty lamb kebab served with spicy tomato sauce.
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From left to right Al, Paul, Jim, Me Rob, Rob and Dave
We carried on driving all day and when we came down from the mountains we encountered the worse roads yet. They were either flooded from the torrential rain, or had huge ruts in them, similar to the tramlines you get on british motorways, only 5-6 inches deep.
That night, after more depressing driving, we booked into a beatiful new lodge in the middle of this awful grey town. The lodge was £12 a night, had a funny coloured swimming pool and a downstairs bar. We had a meal, meat in pancakes, and a few beers. A great night. We were all so relieved at having found each other and glad to be having a good time after the depressing day driving.

Edited by Elfie, 24 September 2008 - 12:41 PM.


#5 JohnGordon

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Posted 24 September 2008 - 01:15 PM

sounds like an amazing experience

#6 Beddo88

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Posted 14 October 2008 - 06:46 PM

Ok... so im definately doing this next year. I was contemplating it, and now im certain!! Sounds amazing :D

#7 Pezz361356

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Posted 22 October 2008 - 11:52 AM

Ok... so im definately doing this next year. I was contemplating it, and now im certain!! Sounds amazing :thumbsup:



Beddo, Sorry to disappoint but all the places have been allocated for next year....they all went in 3 minutes back in August

#8 CharlieBrown

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Posted 22 October 2008 - 12:25 PM

Is there any more to come Elfie?

And where is the photograpic evidence of the "hot" police ladies?? :thumbsup:

#9 Pezz361356

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Posted 22 October 2008 - 12:37 PM

mongol rally

Edited by Pezz361356, 13 July 2012 - 01:04 PM.


#10 Elfie

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Posted 22 October 2008 - 08:34 PM

Well... the story continues, without hot policewoman evicence I am afraid. We carried on through the Ukraine, on awful roads, through grey towns and huge lightning storms. I had begun driving in waterproof trousers and jacket due to the deluge coming through the roof, but gave up on this and settled for driving in boxer shorts. The roads in the Ukraine are mostly massive pot holes that jump out of the darkness with an almighty bang, the bedford bambi we were convoying with was suffering badly with this so we stopped earlier one evening outside a town called Khmel'nyts'Kyi at a cafe staffed by gorgeous, beautiful people. The more single of us were trying to persuade them to come back with us but they obviously attracted this kind of attention all day ever day so were quite gracious in their acceptance of the compliments. Me, Paul and Dave made a trip into what we later found was the biggest and most complicated city in the entire world, to find a cash machine. 3 Hours, one white knuckle drive the wrong way down a one way street and a small amount of cash later we found our way back to the cafe. We were shocked to find Al there alone, with the three other lads gone. Al explained that a man called 'Paul' had turned up 'by chance' in his Hummer, bought them all masses of alcohol and claimed to have copious amounts of weed. When questioned as to his profession,'Paul' had exchanged shifty glances with his attractive secretary whom answered 'Paul is in, how you say, Waste Disposal'.
Dispite this obviously shifty guy, Rob Rob and Jim had their beer decision hats on and had accepted an invitation to go with Paul to his club in the centre of this massive city. Al had stayed behind with the other vans, suspecting something was wrong. Later on, while we were discussing options over Vodkas with the cafe security guard, we got a few phone calls from the Robs asking us to go down to the club to party with them. Of course we were not stupid enough to do this and as the night went on we suspected the calls were pleas for us to come and get them. Finally, when we had all gone to bed, the boys were dropped off by the Hummer at 3 in the morning. I gave them hell for being so stupid and went to sleep.
The next morning we woke, had a massive 3 course breakfast at the cafe and set off on what we decided was going to be an epic slog through the Ukraine.
The roads eventually got better and we began to see smoother roads, although towns and houses got progressivley more sparse. Experienced the Ukranian car overtaking a car overtaking a car method of driving aswell as copious amounts of very messy dog road kill. Cars that had obviously been in horrible accidents were clearly not written off, but put straight back on the roads.
We drove for 36 hours straight to a town just over the Russian border called Tagenrog. Recieved an armed escort into the city centre from some guys we met in a bar we asked at for directions. Tagenrog is an absolute hole, we had to drive out of town because we were getting lots of unwanted attention from the locals. The next morning we left early and drove untill our the Bambi was being too punished by the roads, we we decided to stop off at a little bar by a beautiful stretch of river for a rest. We ended up staying overnight and getting absoultey trashed. Some russian guy on pills got quite lairy with us and tried to make us take loads of drugs. The next day, nursing a hangover and a cricked neck from sleeping in the van, I tried to start the van, which didn't work. The other rascal happened to have a spare fuel pump so I changed that and we were on our way again. We drove to Volgograd, a pleasant city to see the statue of Mother Russia. This statue is the biggest thing I have ever seen. For something like 20 years it was the largest statue in the world, twice as big as the statue of Liberty!
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Around the statue there was a whole park of patriotic statues and images...
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Amazing.
The next day we set off fro Volgograd, after another visit to the statue, to the Kazakh border!!!!
We spent forever getting out of Volgograd, we found a much welcome pizza shop and tried to find some maps of Kazakhstan/Russia.
Paul and Al in the Bambi left us to go on ahead, as they were taking it very easy to save their suspension.
Soon after leaving Volgograd we hit amazing desert, we flew along for hours on really good roads through deserted wilderness, saw our first camels!
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On the other side of the desert all of a sudden everyone looked very indo-chinese, very asian indeed, it was amazing that that 200 mile stretch of desert separated Europe and Asia so clearly.

Another update coming soon! We are currently on day 12 of 30 so plenty more to come!

#11 Pezz361356

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Posted 23 October 2008 - 08:08 AM

Good work Elfie, Keep it up I want to know what I'm in for.

#12 CharlieBrown

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Posted 23 October 2008 - 08:22 AM

Sounds like a great trip already! Thanks for the report!!!

#13 Elfie

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 05:28 PM

Right, day 13, we parked up on the Russian side of the Kazakh border, after driving round Astrakahn for two hours(and getting stopped by the same policeman three times, always asking to see the same documents. He was obviously very bored). We stopped in a car park with the other rascal, by nightfall the place was swarming with the biggest bugs you have ever seen, the crickets were so loud! There were massive flying beetles getting into the car at any opportunity. In the middle of the night I heard a noise and a door flew open to reveal my mate, carrying his sleeping bag and looking scared stiff. He said he had been sleep walking and woken up in the middle of a field about 250m away. Very perculiar.
Anyway, the next morning we crossed the bridge to the Kazakh border, a floating, army type thing that was concerningly close to the water...
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WAHAY! VIDEO'S!

Well, on the other side of the bridge was Kazakhstan! We met 5 or 6 other teams at the border to go through together. This was our longest border crossing at 8 hours!!! The guards kept coming over and asking for 'souveniers', so we gave them some Czech porn and some shower gel.
We were finally let through to the other side, and cajoled into buying some useless insurance. Some dude came up and told us not to pay what the people were asking, showed them some sort of security badge and we got away with paying about £7 for it.
So into Kazakhstan we went! We met up again with the Bambi and drove with our convoy through the desert for a couple of hours. Eventually pulled right off the road to camp down for the night. On the drive we were awe struck by how vast and bleak Kazakhstan was. The roads were good though so we couldn't complain.
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Later on that night, totally by chance, three other cars turned up, they just followed some lights and found us. Thats what I found amazing about the rally, although we were travelling half way around the land of the world, we still found so many people that were on the rally.


Next morning we set off for Aqtobe, in the middle of the Kazakh oilfields. We parked up in a hotel carpark, some people got rooms but we stayed in the van. Rob had a run in with a Kazakh prostitute, putting it in a forum friendly way he did stuff one should not do to a hooker, which resulted in me refusing to share drinks with him for the rest of the trip.

We met a Belgian couple in a toyota hilux camper travelling from Belgium to Austrailia overland. Absolutly amazing journey. We had reports from truck drivers that the roads past a place called Makat to the capital, Astana, were awful, but we took the chance and the next morning set off in a convoy of 9 cars toward Astana.

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Edited by Elfie, 24 October 2008 - 06:39 PM.


#14 buddylove

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 06:35 AM

Where's the rest of it?

#15 Elfie

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 07:40 PM

Where's the rest of it?


Sorry, I'll put more up when I have time.




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