14 replies to this topic

[matt050990]

I was chatting to a lad in the office today about cars and bikes etc when he came out with the funniest but most stupid thing I have ever heard!

He said he was out cleaning his moped the other day and he really wanted to get a shine all over the bike paying close attention to wheels and brake discs.

His top tip was that he sprayed WD40 on his brake discs and they came out sparkling!!!!

Once we all calmed down from laughing so much we explained to him the error in his ways. He felt a little silly to say the least.


Anyone else have any funny stories.....

[Ben_O]

I had my Cousin do a day's work experience with me at a body shop I used to work at.

 

He didn't really show any interest and subsequently got bored. I sent him off to ask around the other guys if he could borrow me a plastic magnet. It kept him buys for ages.

 

My mum used to paint her fingernails red and then painted white dots on them back in the 90's. The amount of people that used to stop her and admire them. We couldn't believe how many people asked if it cam out of the bottle like that!

 

Ben

[b_sdaddy]

Ex wife (12 years ago now, so it's ok), found the bird droppings to be a bit too stubborn when washing the car, so thought using a brillo-pad would help!

 

EVERY panel was ruined. 'But it was nice 'n' shinny until it dried', was her answer.......

 

 

by the way, that's not why we got divorced.

[Mini 360]

 

by the way, that's not why we got divorced.

It should have been.

 

 

Working in Halfords many years ago, a woman came in complaining of squeaky brakes and how WD40 had stopped them sqeuaking.  People like that need to be taken away.....

[albo]

many years ago i watched my sister repair a two inch split to her then boy friends chopper,yes an original chopper bike that is,

anyway i watched her repair it sat on the floor outside for 20 mins with a needle and cotton,she made a neat job but could`nt understand why the repaire wouldn`t work,dumb young love i suppose lol, 

ps,that was a front wheel puncture.

Edited by albo, 06 August 2014 - 06:14 PM.

[henri1972]

i used to work at an independent jaguar dealership a fully trained bloke put a set of pads in the front of a v12 s3 jag metal side to discs and could not understand why he had no brakes on return from a road test he was shown the door very quickly

[Ben_O]

I did a stint in a country garage in the sticks and the boss lived with his wife in a cottage on the land where the workshop was.

 

One day, i was busy working and heard his wife come into the workshop. daaavvvvveeeeeee......... daaaavvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, i've got a puncture. Can you come over and fix it?

 

He said he was to busy so she asked if someone else could help. He told her to do it herself so she bimbled back over to the house.

 

20 Mins later.... daaaavvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee......... daaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee, I can't do it.

 

So he sent me over to do it for her. As soon as i saw her attempt at getting the wheel off, i creased up laughing. She had wedged a garden trowel in behind the side wall of the tyre. When i asked why she had done that, she told me she was trying to get the wheel trim off.

 

Well that's fine and well apart from it had alloy wheels 

 

She begged me to keep quiet but i couldn't resist.

 

Ben

 

edit: when reading the above, picture her as Olive from on the buses   

Edited by Ben_O, 06 August 2014 - 06:20 PM.

[b_sdaddy]

Now there was a real woman!

[will_]

A guy I know told me he saw a lady in a petrol station pouring a 5ltr jug of oil in her car. By the time he had filled up, he came outside and asked her if she was ok, needed any help. She replied that she was fine it wasn't full to the brim yet. Apparently she was going to buy another. He dipped the oil & advised her to wait for help. Said oil was 3/4 up the dipstick :/
Car was a slk merc. Pretty new at the time too.

[Ben_O]

A guy I know told me he saw a lady in a petrol station pouring a 5ltr jug of oil in her car. By the time he had filled up, he came outside and asked her if she was ok, needed any help. She replied that she was fine it wasn't full to the brim yet. Apparently she was going to buy another. He dipped the oil & advised her to wait for help. Said oil was 3/4 up the dipstick :/
Car was a slk merc. Pretty new at the time too.

I saw someone at a petrol station filling up while i was waiting and she started pulling the trigger before she got it in the filer neck. She started screaming and jumping around, petrol went everywhere!

I saw a man fill up a petrol car with diesel on another occasion and when he realised, he broke down crying. I had a little grin on my face as i looked on.

 

Ben

[Miniminx71]

I've been shopping for insurance quotes this week. According to Hastings, my Mini is a 3 door. I said, but it's only 2 really because the "third" is the boot and he said "can you get into the car through that third door?". Ahhhh. No idea what a classic Mini is ....

[Minilegs]

I was on a trip out with the missus and we had the satnav on as we were unfamiliar with the area. All was well, until my missus came out with a killer statement/ question...
"So the reason why the sat nav talks to you is because blind people can use it ?!"

In her defense though, she realised what she said about a second after closing her mouth, which for me was the icing on the cake!!

I will never let her forget that one !!

[matt050990]

Once when I was driving through Winchelsea near Rye with an ex girlfriend we passed an old stone wall and Castle ruins. Obviously hundreds of years old, I told her my job was to go along and stick the moss to the brickwork to make it look pretty! To which I got the response of 'ah wow it looks so natural!'

[firstforward]

I owned a car dealership once with a Shell forecourt. I was sat in my office about 7.00pm overlooking the forecourt and a middle aged lady came in with 3 week old VW Polo. She lifted the bonnet and picked up our watering can and I presumed proceeded to top up the screen wash reservoir. I was busy on the phone so only half noticed what was going on. She asked out attendant to refill the watering can, again it never really crossed my mind that it was strange but as I said I was busy on the phone. It turned out she filled the rocker cover till it was brimmed. After filling with petrol she turned the ignition key and bang the engine seized up.

 

Eventually her husband turned up and I got all the blame for not having the watering can labelled up with "Water" on it. It went to Court and I won the day as she admitted she assumed it was water in the can.

 

I never have been able to work out which one was the most stupid, the filling up or taking to Court.

[dbcool20]

One of my close friends literally made me pi@ss in my pants a few weeks back. Apparently his brakes were always squeaking on his car and it was real annoying, so in attempt to fix this issue he took off the rear drums, cleaned everything and then had the best idea ever, he smeared a thin layer of multi purpose grease over the brake shoe pads to stop it from squeaking....      . 

it actually did stop squeaking after that   hahahhahaha!