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[jccc78]

just been reading reviews on amazon about haribo sugar free gummy bears

have been crying with laughter unable to breath wife wondered what on earth was up with me lol

please read 15 of 18 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Cataclysmic Gummy Bears, October 25, 2014



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Applebeezy - See all my reviews


This review is from: Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears 5LB Bag (Grocery)

2:45 A.M.: As I lay here on my bathroom floor drawing my final breaths I write this review as a last act of service towards my fellow man.
Earlier this evening I made the grave mistake of eating about 1 lb of Haribo sugar free gummy bears, a mistake that would later prove to be fatal. I, being a naive teen, thought I was totally fine and immune to the rumored effects of the bears because I had made it an hour without any signs of intestinal distress, little did I know I was in for the final ride of my life. At about 2:00 A.M I woke up to what felt like an earthquake, only to realize it was actually my stomach. Then came the noises. My stomach had become an amplifier for all the demons of hell to speak through and mock me about my impending doom. I ran faster than I had ever run before and only made it to the toilet with seconds to spare before my ass released the greatest extinction level event the world has ever witnessed. I contained as much of it as I could within the toilet, but my ass was torn apart in the process. Now I lay on my bathroom floor, body withered and ass bleeding out, telling all who dare to try these hell-spawn gummy bears, to save themselves and turn away from this dark path while they still have the chance.



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this is best review so far

43,353 of 44,047 people found the following review helpful
Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate.
By Christine E. Torok on October 3, 2012
Size Name: 5 lb Verified Purchase
Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.Read more
1,130 Comments Was this review helpful to you?

[Archived4]

You watched QI tonight too?

 

I migh get some of these for a guy at work haha

[Ben_O]

I think there was a thread about this before.

 

They are deadly though. we bought some before knowing about the reviews and lets just say, they would make a good joke present for someone you didn't like!

[jccc78]

3,291 of 3,667 people found the following review helpful
Do not bring to sporting events!
By gregbA on January 18, 2014
Size Name: 5 lb
The place: BMO Harris Bradley Center
The event: Bucks VS Spurs
The snack: Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears made by Haribo

I recently took my 4 year old son to his first NBA game. He was very excited to go to the game, and I was excited because we had fantastic seats. Row C center court to be exact. I've never sat that close before. I've never had to go DOWN stairs to get to my seats. 24 stairs to get to my seats to be exact.

His favorite candy is Skittles. Mine are anything gummy. I snuck in a bag of skittles for my son, and grabbed a handful of gummy bears for myself, to be later known as Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears, that I received for Christmas in bulk from my parents, and put them in a zip lock bag.

After the excitement of the 1st quarter has ended I take my son out to get him a bottled water and myself a beer. We return to our seats to enjoy our candy and drinks.

..............fast forward until 1 minute before half time...........

I have begun to sweat a sweat that is only meant for a man on mile 19 of a marathon. I have kicked out my legs out so straight that I am violently pushing the gentleman wearing a suit seat in front of me forward. He is not happy, I do not care. My hands are on the side of my seat not unlike that of a gymnast on a pommel horse, lifting me off my chair. My son is oblivious to what is happening next to him, after all, there is a mascot running around somewhere and he is eating candy.

I realize that at some point in the very near to immediate future I am going to have to allow this lava from Satan to forcefully expel itself from my innards. I also realize that I have to walk up 24 stairs just to get to level ground in hopes to make it to the bathroom. I’ll just have to sit here stiff as a board for a few moments waiting for the pain to subside. About 30 seconds later there is a slight calm in the storm of the violent hurricane that is going on in my lower intestine. I muster the courage to gently relax every muscle in my lower half and stand up. My son stands up next to me and we start to ascend up the stairs. I take a very careful and calculated step up the first stair. Then a very loud horn sounds. Halftime. Great. It’s going to be crowded. The horn also seems to have awaken the Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears that are having a mosh pit in my stomach. It literally felt like an avalanche went down my stomach and I again have to tighten every muscle and stand straight up and focus all my energy on my poor sphincter to tighten up and perform like it has never performed before. Taking another step would be the worst idea possible, the flood gates would open. Don’t worry, Daddy has a plan. I some how mumble the question, “want to play a game?” to my son, he of course says “yes”. My idea is to hop on both feet allllll the way up the stairs, using the center railing to propel me up each stair. My son is always up for a good hopping game, so he complies and joins in on the “fun”. Some old lady 4 steps up thinks its cute that we are doing this, obviously she wasn’t looking at the panic on my face. 3 rows behind her a man about the same age as me, who must have had similar situations, notices the fear/panic/desperation on my face understands the danger that I along with my pants and anyone within a 5 yard radius spray zone are in. He just mouths the words “good luck man” to me and I press on. Half way up and there is no leakage, but my legs are getting tired and my sphincter has never endured this amount of pressure for this long of time. 16 steps/hops later…….4 steps to go…….My son trips and falls on the stairs, I have two options: keep going knowing he will catch up or bend down to pick him up relieving my sphincter of all the pressure and commotion while ruining the day of roughly the 50 people that are now watching a grown man hop up stairs while sweating profusely next to a 4 year old boy.

Luckily he gets right back up and we make it to the top of the stairs. Good, the hard part was over. Or so I thought. I managed to waddle like a penguin, or someone who is about to poop their pants in 2.5 seconds, to the men's room only to find that every stall is being used. EVERY STALL. It's halftime, of course everyone has to poop at that moment. I don't know if I can wait any longer, do I go ahead and fulfil the dream of every high school boy and poop in the urinal? What kind of an example would that set for my son? On the other hand, what kind of an example would it be for his father to fill his pants with a substance that probably will be unrecognizable to man. Suddenly a stall door opens, and I think I manage to actually levitate over to the stall. I my son follows me in, luckily it was the handicap stall so there was room for him to be out of the way. I get my pants off and start to sit. I know what taking a giant poo feels like. I also know what vomiting feels like. I can now successfully say that I know what it is like to vomit out my butt. I wasn't pooping, those Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears did something to my insides that made my sphincter vomit our the madness.

I am now conscious of my surroundings. Other than the war that the bottom half of my body is currently having with this porcelain chair, it is quiet as a pin drop in the bathroom. The other men in there can sense that something isn't right, no one has heard anyone ever poop vomit before.

I can sense that the worst part is over. But its not stopping, nor can I physically stop it at this point, I am leaking..it's horrible. I call out "does anyone have a diaper?" hoping that some gentleman was changing a baby. Nothing. No one said a word. I know people are in there, I can see the toes of shoes pointed in my direction under the stall.. "DOES ANYONE HAVE A DIAPER!?!" I am screaming, my son is now crying, he thinks he is witnessing the death of his father. I can't even assure him that I will make it.

Not a word was said, but a diaper was thrown over the stall. I catch it, line my underwear with it, put my pants back on, and walk out of that bathroom like a champ. We go straight to our seats, grab out coats and go home. As we are walking out, the gentleman that wished me good luck earlier simply put his fist out, and I happily bumped it.

My son asks me, "Daddy, why are we leaving early?"
"Well son, I need to change my diaper"

[jccc78]

epic why do they do it if they know the side effects mental
its a good way to lose weight . lol

[Ben_O]

epic why do they do it if they know the side effects mental
its a good way to lose weight . lol

It is the artificial sweeteners in them. They are suitable for Diabetics but should only be eaten in moderation.

 

Some supermarkets sell Haribo sweets called Bonissimo which are sugar free and have the same effect if you eat too many.

 

Defiantly the sort of sweet you should only have a few at a time!

 

Otherwise you spend the day on the loo!

[robminibcy]

Amazon has some great stuff like this. Have a look at 'veet hair removal for men'

[jccc78]

Amazon has some great stuff like this. Have a look at 'veet hair removal for men'

just as epic lol