what do chavs use for protection while having sex?
a bus shelter
Chav Jokes
Started by
scrog
, May 20 2008 12:32 PM
8 replies to this topic
#2
Mini_Rob
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Posted 20 May 2008 - 12:56 PM
Whats a chavs idea of foreplay?
Rohypnol
Whats the best way to kill a chav?
Pull his hat over his face and let him drown in his own spit
What do you call a quiet chav?
A corpse
2 chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
Society
Whats the chav equivalent of a fortune cookie?
A pop tart with a giro in the middle
Whats the best thing a chav can give up for lent?
Breathing
How many people does it take to bur a chav?
1, theres only 1 handle on a wheelie bin
What do you call an unborn chav?
Scum in the oven.
Whats the difference between Batman and a chav?
Batman can walk into a shop with Robin
Whats the difference between male and female chavs?
The females have a higher sperm count
What do you call an all-chav abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers
What do you get when you cross a genius and a chav?
An idea that hits you for no reason
What do you call a chav with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant
Whats the difference between a chav and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side
How do you stop a chav from drowing?
Take your foot off its head / Steal its jewellery
What do you get if you cross a gang of chavs and a tsunami?
A crime wave
How did the chav get a good citizen award?
He had a vasectomy
Did you hear about the chav who got into university?
Someone left a window open
Teacher: Whats the longest sentance you can think of?
Chav: A life sentance
Why don't the kill chavs at birth?
I was wondering the same
What does a chav with Alzheimers never forget to do?
Cash his giro
How do you know if a chavs a bad father?
He lets his 12 year old smokein front of her kids
Whats the definition of gross ignorance?
144 chavs
How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. 1 to hold the lightbulb and one to drink white cider till the room spins
What do a chav and a diet have in common?
They don't work
What do you do when a chav spits at you?
Turn the grill down
Whats the difference between a job and a pushchair?
You often see a chav with a pushchair
Why do pigeons fly upside over groups of chavs?
There's nothing worth ******* on
Whats the difference between a clock and a chav?
You can see a clocks face
I'm here all week!
Rohypnol
Whats the best way to kill a chav?
Pull his hat over his face and let him drown in his own spit
What do you call a quiet chav?
A corpse
2 chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
Society
Whats the chav equivalent of a fortune cookie?
A pop tart with a giro in the middle
Whats the best thing a chav can give up for lent?
Breathing
How many people does it take to bur a chav?
1, theres only 1 handle on a wheelie bin
What do you call an unborn chav?
Scum in the oven.
Whats the difference between Batman and a chav?
Batman can walk into a shop with Robin
Whats the difference between male and female chavs?
The females have a higher sperm count
What do you call an all-chav abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers
What do you get when you cross a genius and a chav?
An idea that hits you for no reason
What do you call a chav with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant
Whats the difference between a chav and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side
How do you stop a chav from drowing?
Take your foot off its head / Steal its jewellery
What do you get if you cross a gang of chavs and a tsunami?
A crime wave
How did the chav get a good citizen award?
He had a vasectomy
Did you hear about the chav who got into university?
Someone left a window open
Teacher: Whats the longest sentance you can think of?
Chav: A life sentance
Why don't the kill chavs at birth?
I was wondering the same
What does a chav with Alzheimers never forget to do?
Cash his giro
How do you know if a chavs a bad father?
He lets his 12 year old smokein front of her kids
Whats the definition of gross ignorance?
144 chavs
How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. 1 to hold the lightbulb and one to drink white cider till the room spins
What do a chav and a diet have in common?
They don't work
What do you do when a chav spits at you?
Turn the grill down
Whats the difference between a job and a pushchair?
You often see a chav with a pushchair
Why do pigeons fly upside over groups of chavs?
There's nothing worth ******* on
Whats the difference between a clock and a chav?
You can see a clocks face
I'm here all week!
#3
Danny_California
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Posted 20 May 2008 - 02:26 PM
Whats the difference between Batman and a chav?
Batman can walk into a shop with Robin
Haha that one's genius
#4
Shiftymini
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Super Mini Mad
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Posted 20 May 2008 - 03:05 PM
What do you call a Chav in a box?
isn't it.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A
Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job isn't it."
Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the carwash
Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order,
could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
isn't it.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A
Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job isn't it."
Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the carwash
Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order,
could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
#5
minimadjonesy
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Posted 20 May 2008 - 03:07 PM
What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!
How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!
What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.
What do you call a Chav in a box?
isn't it.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
What do you say to a chav at work?
Can i have a big mac please?
How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?
She is the most pregnant one.
2 chavs in a car, who's driving?
The Police
Why did the chav get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
How does a chav girl turn the lights off after sex?
She closes the car door
What’s the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?
The Grand Old Duke of York only had ten thousand men…
What’s faster than a chav running away with your pc?
His mate running away with your laptop.
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE’s?
A liar.
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they’ll screw anything
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?” - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
“Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.”
What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
What’s the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One’s thick and hairy, the other’s a coconut.
If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try to not run over him
It might be your bike.
Fathers Day!
How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!
What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.
What do you call a Chav in a box?
isn't it.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
What do you say to a chav at work?
Can i have a big mac please?
How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?
She is the most pregnant one.
2 chavs in a car, who's driving?
The Police
Why did the chav get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
How does a chav girl turn the lights off after sex?
She closes the car door
What’s the difference between a Chav girl and the Grand Old Duke of York?
The Grand Old Duke of York only had ten thousand men…
What’s faster than a chav running away with your pc?
His mate running away with your laptop.
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE’s?
A liar.
How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they’ll screw anything
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?” - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
“Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.”
What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
What’s the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One’s thick and hairy, the other’s a coconut.
If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try to not run over him
It might be your bike.
#6
minimadjonesy
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Posted 20 May 2008 - 03:07 PM
Damn! just beaten to it!!
#7
JamesF
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Mini Mad
Posted 20 May 2008 - 03:33 PM
A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order,
could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
Why would a bus full of chavs be arguing over the pronunciation of a Welsh town? More likely, they'd be too busy blasting their music out to pay any attention. But for the sake of picking a joke apart - surely they'd just say "We're in dat c***py Welsh town, isn't it? Bunch of sheep s******s. Ver so gay!"
#8
Shiftymini
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Super Mini Mad
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Posted 20 May 2008 - 05:28 PM
Edited by Shiftymini, 20 May 2008 - 05:33 PM.
#9
mstwntd611
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Posted 21 May 2008 - 08:51 AM
HAHA!
\chavs at romford :
\chavs at romford :
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