110 replies to this topic

[paulyt]

But if this is helping people then what's the problem. In mini magic's case they have read these articals and are helping them self which if you ask me takes some b******s, I see your point of seein' a professional but at the end of the day all they can do is smack up to the eye balls and sit you down on a couch and talk to you about whether your dad was a bad man.

Personally I think it's good that people can get this info and if it helps them even better! But that's my opinion and I'm sure there's plenty of others around

well said that man. !!

[Mini_Magic]

But if this is helping people then what's the problem. In mini magic's case they have read these articals and are helping them self which if you ask me takes some b******s, I see your point of seein' a professional but at the end of the day all they can do is smack up to the eye balls and sit you down on a couch and talk to you about whether your dad was a bad man.

Personally I think it's good that people can get this info and if it helps them even better! But that's my opinion and I'm sure there's plenty of others around

That's pretty much exactly what I was about to post. I could go and see a professional but I don't really see how it will help, it's not like theres a drug you can just take to cure it. As long as I'm improving, in my opinion that's all that matters.

[Beats]

I think you must be cured because I've never noticed anything. All you need now is a decent car!

Edited by Beats, 25 September 2008 - 12:18 PM.

[Mini_Magic]

All you need now is a decent car!

Didn't I tell you, I've sold the Mini already.

Edited by Mini_Magic, 25 September 2008 - 06:03 PM.

[Beats]

Exactly, that was a decent car!

[Jimmy Hat]

Oh dear... I think this is what I have.. It better sort itself out because I really cant be bothered to do anything about it...

[Mini_Magic]

Oh dear... I think this is what I have.. It better sort itself out because I really cant be bothered to do anything about it...

In my opinion it won't, if you're serious about sorting it out then you need to put the work in. Send me a PM if you have any questions.

[Jimmy Hat]

Well to tell you the truth, I think mine's sort of starting to sort itself a bit, so I'd rather go without help, professional or otherwise, in case it affects my self esteem. Thanks for offering to help though...

[THE ANORAK]

Im shy, Im intolerant of crowds, I dont like meeting new people, and prefer my own company to being with others. Behind my back, people who dont know me occasionally wonder f I am either quite aloof to the point of rudeness, or a bit retarded, as I never say much to anyone. Far from it, I just dont like talking to people due to my natural grumpiness. Maybe Im too intelligent? as frankly I find vacuous small-talk to be a waste of time.
If I meet someone new, Im not really interested in their opinions of the weather, sport, what they do for a living or where they are going on holiday, and I dont believe MY opinions are particularly worthy of discussion either, so I keep my mouth shut. This leaves silence, where the person i have just met wonders if Im ignoring them or if Im Forrest Gump.

i can understand this, although i dont mind meeting new people if we have a common interest.

there are times when i pick the kids up from school, with all the other parents (mostly women, but not all) just waffling on endlessly about god knows what and i think......... why ?????

[Timtom]

i just can't speak properly! i just mumble everything! it drives me mad because i can't help it!!

[Mini_Magic]

Thought I'd give an update for anyone interested or for anyone who's having similar problems.

Despite my best efforts, working in a shop for six months and going out a lot more, I still don't feel much better these days. I still feel incredibly self conscious, I still think everyone’s starring at me all the time and I still think everyone spots every little mistake I make in public.

Interestingly, I do seem to have built up just enough confidence to dance in a club. As long as I keep telling myself that everyone around me is too drunk to notice my terrible dancing then generally I’m fine. I still sometimes get a sudden hit of self consciousness, but usually that’s when I’m sober.

Overall though, things aren’t great I feel. I’m still terrible at meeting new people.

[Jimmy Hat]

I was looking for this thread, ive still got it as well...

Its not really noticeable with people i know but with teachers or people i dont see that often its awful... Even if im good friends with the person i still cant talk to them on the phone though.

Usual things about self consciousness/lack of confidence/mind going blank etc... Im going to start going to a youth club so i wonder what ill be like there...

As far as i can tell though, its usually better when im with people i know, even if im in a room full of people i don't!

[Mini_Magic]

I know it has been over two years since this thread was started, but I feel it is worth reviving for anyone who has similar issues.

Don't ever feel like you haven't got anyone to talk to. Even if you've never met me, please feel free to send me a message or add me on Facebook to talk about it.

Since I last posted in this thread, I've improved an awful lot. I started going on dates in 2009, which boosted my confidence massively. Then I met someone in October 2009 and have been with her ever since. I've also had a couple of jobs since them, and again meeting new people and being busy has helpt an awful lot. Going to a club these dates doesn't bother me in the slightest, athough my dancing is still as bad as ever!

Having said all that, it still does affect me from time to time. I can still be very shy and quiet, especially in a large group of people. I'm at my best when I'm in a really good mood about something.

[MaxAndPaddy]

Pleased for you that things have improved so much. I'm in my early 40's now and still find it difficult at times, especially when I'm out of my comfort zone (reason I may back out of sunday at stanford and let steve go).....I dont think I was as servere as you were, mainly lacking self confidence or paranoia that people were looking at me. I use to either be quiet and stay in the background or far more embarrassing babble ALOT and talk sh*te which believe me can be worse!.. but it was just nerves.

Great to read this and If it encourages others even if its 'just' on the forum wtg you!....Jane

[Bec]

Really happy for you James. For years I was painfully shy but I like to think I'm alot more out of my shell now and much of that is due to getting involved with the mini forum, especially with meets. Sometimes throwing yourself in at the deep end brings you on in leaps and bounds.