Jump to content


Photo

Just For The 'pun' Of It


  • Please log in to reply
873 replies to this topic

#781 alex-95

alex-95

    I am THE CLAMP MAKER

  • TMF+ Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,644 posts
  • Location: Cornwall

Posted 09 February 2018 - 07:59 PM

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

 

Ten-ticles



#782 mini-mad-mark

mini-mad-mark

    Mini Mad

  • TMF+ Member
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 176 posts
  • Local Club: northants wot no brakes

Posted 13 February 2018 - 12:40 AM

What do you call a man with a plank of wood on his head?

Edward

 

What do you call a man with three planks of wood on his head?

Edward Woodward

 

What do you call a man with four planks of wood on his head?

Dunno but Edward Woodward would



#783 SecretSugar

SecretSugar

    Sweet!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 506 posts
  • Location: Yorkshire

Posted 18 February 2018 - 06:25 PM

Three sisters, Ann, jan and *******. Two of the sisters Ann and Jan went on a double date. Their dates said to them “gosh, you two have huge feet”. Ann replies, “You should see our *******’s they’re massive”

#784 panky

panky

    One Carb Or Two?

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,413 posts
  • Location: Cheshire
  • Local Club: Northwest Casual Classics

Posted 18 February 2018 - 06:39 PM

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet. Only for about twenty seconds - and only once :(



#785 panky

panky

    One Carb Or Two?

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,413 posts
  • Location: Cheshire
  • Local Club: Northwest Casual Classics

Posted 22 February 2018 - 09:50 PM

Disgusted to hear that despite the recent fiasco of DHL failing to deliver KFC products that they have now gone and won the Cadburys contract, great timing just before Easter! 

Problem is they now don't know what to deliver first.. The chicken or the egg! 



#786 SecretSugar

SecretSugar

    Sweet!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 506 posts
  • Location: Yorkshire

Posted 23 February 2018 - 11:45 AM

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg!

#787 xrocketengineer

xrocketengineer

    Rocket Man

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,442 posts
  • Location: Florida, USA

Posted 24 February 2018 - 04:42 AM

I have seen my inner beauty!  And I got the pictures from my colonoscopy to prove it ..... even though some of them are "crappy".



#788 M J W J

M J W J

    One Carb Or Two?

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 916 posts
  • Location: Stafford/Telford
  • Local Club: not yet

Posted 02 March 2018 - 06:04 PM

My boss said to me "you've been late for the third time this week. Do you know what this means?!"

"Err... Yeah. It's Wednesday"

#789 DJS911

DJS911

    Mini Mad

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 240 posts
  • Location: South East Cornwall

Posted 02 March 2018 - 07:57 PM

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you have a terminal illness and only have 10 to live”

Patient: “What do you mean 10?, 10 what? months? weeks?”

Doctor: “9, 8, 7..........”

#790 SecretSugar

SecretSugar

    Sweet!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 506 posts
  • Location: Yorkshire

Posted 03 March 2018 - 07:38 PM

Man walks into his kitchen to see his wife propping up one side of the washer with bricks. “What on earth are you doing?” He says. “I’m putting the washing on a 30dehree wash” his wife says

#791 M J W J

M J W J

    One Carb Or Two?

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 916 posts
  • Location: Stafford/Telford
  • Local Club: not yet

Posted 03 March 2018 - 09:16 PM

What do you do if your wife leaves the kitchen? Shorten the chain

Why are wedding dresses white? So they match the washing machine and iron

What do you do if your wife comes staggering towards you covered in blood? Calm down then reload.

#792 Cooperman

Cooperman

    Uncle Cooperman, Voted Mr TMF 2011

  • Mini Docs
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,499 posts
  • Location: Cambs.
  • Local Club: MCR, HAMOC, Chelmsford M.C.

Posted 03 March 2018 - 09:56 PM

“My wife texted me this evening to say she was in casualty. But I’ve watched two episodes now and I haven’t seen her once. I’m still waiting for my dinner.”



#793 DJS911

DJS911

    Mini Mad

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 240 posts
  • Location: South East Cornwall

Posted 04 March 2018 - 07:27 AM

Ever since it started snowing my wife has been staring through the window.

I guess if it gets it gets much colder I’m going to have to let her in.

#794 SecretSugar

SecretSugar

    Sweet!

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 506 posts
  • Location: Yorkshire

Posted 04 March 2018 - 09:17 AM

How do you know that Will Smith has been in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.

#795 Northernpower

Northernpower

    Mr. 7-Port

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,306 posts
  • Name: Graham
  • Location: North Yorkshire (God's County)
  • Local Club: Its out there somewhere

Posted 04 March 2018 - 10:16 AM

Why didn't Jesus come from Hartlepool?

 

They couldn't find three wise men and virgin.

 

A girl in Hartlepool is wearing a white shell suit, what do you call her?

 

The bride.






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

Mini Spares