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Just For The 'pun' Of It


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#886 xrocketengineer

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Posted 14 January 2021 - 04:50 PM

Walmart-Greeter.jpg

 

Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
“Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”
“Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.”
“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear.
“It’s odd though your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Navy. What did they say if you came in late there?”
“They said, ‘Good morning, Admiral, can I get you coffee, sir?’ ”



#887 xrocketengineer

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Posted 15 February 2021 - 01:52 AM

Text message between neighbors

 

Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I've been riddled with guilt for
a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you
face-to-face. When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day
and night, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at
home recently. I know that's no excuse. The temptation was just too
great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere
apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I'll pay
you. Richard

Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door,
and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself
a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone
and discovered a second text message from Richard.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE:

Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I
assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had
changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us
all.



#888 The Principal

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Posted 15 February 2021 - 06:38 PM

I was in Tesco's last week and spotted a shifty looking snowman rummaging amongst the carrots, I asked him what he was doing he said 'Just picking my nose'






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