896 replies to this topic

[xrocketengineer]

Modern kids are amazing, they learn so much so quickly and they are very much aware of everything going around them.

Today, my almost 4 year old granddaughter came to visit.  My wife has all kinds of toys for her visits. The first thing she did before pretending to mop the floor with her toy mop was to put up the orange safety cones. There was a "princess set of jewels and shoes" for her to try on. After she had everything on, she insisted that she was a queen and not a princess. Quoting my sister, "she already realizes that it is better to be the owner than the CEO". 

Finally, her mom offered her to go play with her grandma's make up. She refused, she wanted instead to play with grandpa's make up  . She was disappointed though. I don't even have a comb since I have no hair.        

Edited by xrocketengineer, 30 July 2018 - 01:12 AM.

[panky]

Don't get Bono to voice your sat nav. 
All the streets have no name and you will never find what you're looking for

[M J W J]

Along similar lines to xrocketengineer's story.

Once asked a girl I was training to get me some Allen Keys. She must have misheard and didn't understand me because the next thing I know, a tanoy announcement goes out across our store asking for Allen Keys to contact 224 (number of the phone she put the tanoy out from).

Everyone had a good laugh at her expense during break.

[xrocketengineer]

Along similar lines to xrocketengineer's story.

Once asked a girl I was training to get me some Allen Keys. She must have misheard and didn't understand me because the next thing I know, a tanoy announcement goes out across our store asking for Allen Keys to contact 224 (number of the phone she put the tanoy out from).

Everyone had a good laugh at her expense during break.

 

Just for fun I would ask her, once in a while, "How is your buddy Theo doing?"

[M J W J]

Women can be really ungrateful at times.

Made her breakfast in bed this morning. I was expecting a "thank you" and all I got was screams followed by "who the hell are you!" and "how did you get in my house!"

[xrocketengineer]

Women can be really ungrateful at times.

Made her breakfast in bed this morning. I was expecting a "thank you" and all I got was screams followed by "who the hell are you!" and "how did you get in my house!"

 

Yep, I know what you mean. That exact same thing happens to me often with my wife! 

[Ben_O]

Air conditioning - not a fan

[Bat]

Breaking news...

A man takes airline to court over his missing luggage, he lost his case.

[panky]

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar and the barman says 'Oh God, not U2 again!'

[panky]

At A Mental Hospital :
Doctor: - "What is this?"
Mad Man: - "This is a book I wrote. Total 500 pages."
Doctor- "You wrote 500 pages?!... woooooow, What did you write?"
Madman: "On the first page I wrote One King rode on a Horse and went towards the Jungle.
And on the last page, I wrote The King reached the Jungle."
Doctor:- "So what did you write in the remaining 498 pages?"
Mad Man:- "I wrote;
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik ti tigdik tigdik...
Tigdiki tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik.
Tigdik ti tigdik
tigdik...
Doctor:- (stunned) "AND what's that????!!!!!"
Mad Man:- "That's the sound of the Horse running...The hooves digging the terrain."
Doctor- "AND Who will read your story?"
Mad Man: "I will put it on TMF, My mad friends will definitely read it... One of them is reading it as we speak!"

[xrocketengineer]

The story had a very consistent rhythm.

[Aaron3]

I skipped 498 pages, how did the story go?

[panky]

Very exciting, I even joined in with me coconut shells for a while to really get into the story

[Aaron3]

Very exciting, I even joined in with me coconut shells for a while to really get into the story

???

[Bat]

I'll never forget what my late uncle said...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sorry I'm late!"