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Just For The 'pun' Of It


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#826 Bat

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 06:05 PM

I've always fancied a job cleaning mirrors...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Definitely a job I could see myself doing!



#827 Bat

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Posted 27 August 2018 - 06:07 PM

A man was arrested yesterday after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He's being bailed tomorrow.



#828 Bat

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Posted 28 August 2018 - 07:50 AM

Dirty Derek our local flasher is thinking of retiring...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But has decided to stick it out for another year.



#829 Aaron3

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Posted 28 August 2018 - 03:58 PM

A customer asked the assistant ‘where might I find the Irish sausages?’

Assistant, why are you Irish?

Customer clearly shocked by the comment, ‘yes I am Irish, but may I ask you a question?

If I asked for pizza would you assume I’m Italian?
If I wanted hotdogs would you think I’m American?
What if I wanted tacos would you presume I’m from Mexico?

Assistant, ‘no I probably wouldn’t!

Customer ‘so why ask if I’m Irish?

Assistant ‘sir, You are in Halfords!

😂😂😂

#830 Bat

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Posted 29 August 2018 - 09:43 AM

A man goes into the doctors with a steering wheel in his pants.

Doctor "What happened here then?"

Patient "I don't know but it's driving me nuts..."

 

:proud:



#831 SecretSugar

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Posted 29 August 2018 - 12:31 PM

What a sad story...a guy I know, his wife left him and took his Bob Marley collection and his satellite dish. Poor guy! No woman no sky.

#832 SecretSugar

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Posted 29 August 2018 - 12:33 PM

A guy was waiting to get his hair cut but it was busy. After a 45 min wait, the manager started to hand out burgers and hot dogs, the guy said it was the best barber queue he’s ever been too.

Edited by SecretSugar, 29 August 2018 - 12:33 PM.


#833 SecretSugar

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Posted 29 August 2018 - 12:36 PM

I had a bottle of Omega 3 pills thrown at me the other day. Luckily I escaped with just Super Fish Oil injuries.

#834 Podman

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Posted 02 September 2018 - 04:08 PM

I was in the chemist, and a lady said to me "does this Viagra work?"

 

I said "I believe it does, yes"

 

she then asked "Can you get it over the counter?"

 

I said "I might do if I take a couple!"



#835 SecretSugar

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Posted 02 September 2018 - 06:26 PM

A blowfly goes into a bar and says to the barman “is this stool taken?”

#836 SecretSugar

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Posted 16 September 2018 - 12:23 PM

I’m the new manager at McDonald’s farm. I’m a CIEIO

#837 Bat

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Posted 06 October 2018 - 08:39 AM

This morning I had two guys standing on my doorstep telling me how brown bread was going to save the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Damn Hovis witnesses!



#838 SecretSugar

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Posted 06 October 2018 - 11:13 PM

Went to job centre today to look at the weekly job advertisements. I was asked if I would consider voluntary work. I told them straight...I wouldn’t do that if they paid me

#839 will_

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Posted Yesterday, 03:02 PM

I’ve told you a million times about exaggerating .....

#840 Magneto

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Posted Today, 02:23 AM

To be Frank......

 

I'd have to change my name.






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