19 replies to this topic

[Ben_O]

Followed an old white Micra this morning. It was being driven by a really short, old bloke wearing a trilby hat. From behind, you couldn't see his neck or anything. Just looked like a hat driving the car. He had what looked like a Vulcan bomber model on the parcel shelf and that box of tissues that old people put there. When I pulled up alongside him, he was driving all scrunched up; sort of hugging the steering wheel. He couldn't get any closer to the windscreen if he tried. Just looked so uncomfortable. I always find that funny; when people really lean forward when driving. Like having your face that extra couple of inches closer to outside makes a difference somehow ...

To me, that's a sign you shouldn't be driving! If you have to press your nose up to the windscreen, presumably because you can't see very well then it must be bad!

[AVV IT]

My line of work involves me being out and about at all hours of the day and night, and you see the strangest things whilst driving around in the early hours of the morning.

I once saw this completely naked chap trying to break into a car at 4am one winters morning. Assuming he must be a mental health patient in some kind of crisis, we wandered over to make sure he was ok. He was very embarrassed and explained that his fancy woman's husband had come home unexpectedly and caught them in both bed together, so he'd just ran off without his clothes, or his car keys! Whilst we were chatting to him the police turned up, they didn't believe his story and so nicked him for both indecent exposure and trying to break into the car. I'll never forget the Copper saying "so sir you expect me to believe that you didn't have time to pick up your clothes, or your keys, yet you somehow managed to remember to bring a wire coat hanger with you?"

[MrBounce]

As I am usually an early riser I quite often see the "walk of shame" on a Saturday morning. One morning last summer I saw a car pull up outside a house and a particularly "top-heavy" young lady came out. She had a massive grin on her face and was dressed in just a T-shirt and knickers. She waved happily at the driver, ran down to the car, got in and off it went. Bizarre.

 

I once saw a road rage incident during an M25 traffic jam; a transit driver got very close to the back of an M3 convertible in the fast lane (they were only doing about 5mph). The M3 driver got out and had words with the Transit driver. My lane was moving so I didn't see much more. About 10 minutes later the M3 driver came screaming past at about 80 on the hard shoulder. A police car followed...

 

Talking of police chases I almost once had a head-on with a Fiat Uno in Colchester. Said Fiat was driving on the wrong side of the road way too quickly because there were a couple of police cars hot on its heels.

[mister bridger]

Some years ago I was working on a car outside my garage (Volvo P1800 as you asked) when a couple pulled up nearby, woman driving, and got out and went to a house opposite. A few minutes later they came out and got back into the car, this time the man in the drivers seat. He started the engine, revving the nuts of it and lurched forward into some railings, destroying the front of the car, radiator etc. They both got out and I heard the woman say "you told me you could drive". Don't think he had ever been behind the wheel of a car before!

[M J W J]

I saw an old Mk2 Escort AA van last night be towed by a modern RAC van last night along the A5.

 

I bet the RAC were laughing their heads off when they got the call for that one.