Dont mention the Lettuce...
That's just the tip of the Iceberg!
Just For The 'pun' Of It
Started by
Ben_O
, Jul 27 2014 06:24 PM
896 replies to this topic
#871
BlueAnorak
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Learner Driver
- Location: Hertfordshire
Posted 27 August 2019 - 08:42 PM
#872
DJS911
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- 240 posts
Mini Mad
- Location: South East Cornwall
Posted 26 September 2019 - 08:05 AM
There’s a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order, starting with XS.
The Police think they’re still at large.
The Police think they’re still at large.
#873
Itsaminithing
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- TMF+ Member
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- 851 posts
One Carb Or Two?
- Location: Berkshire
- Local Club: Not One Worth Mentioning
Posted 23 October 2019 - 09:24 PM
Kirsty & Phil are about to launch a new series about feeding infants
....it's called Lactation, Lactation, Lactation.
#874
panky
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Camshaft & Stage Two Head
- Location: Cheshire
- Local Club: Northwest Casual Classics
Posted 07 November 2019 - 01:46 PM
If you boil down a pan full of funny bones do you end up with a laughing stock
#875
BlueAnorak
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- Just Joined
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Learner Driver
- Location: Hertfordshire
Posted 13 November 2019 - 11:33 PM
...and as I told the wife when she criticised the finish on a newly plastered wall. That's just how I roll.
#876
panky
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Camshaft & Stage Two Head
- Location: Cheshire
- Local Club: Northwest Casual Classics
Posted 13 November 2019 - 11:39 PM
When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die ..................that's a moray
#877
DJS911
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- Members
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- 240 posts
Mini Mad
- Location: South East Cornwall
Posted 25 November 2019 - 10:22 PM
I really annoyed my wife yesterday by opening a box of Celebrations and changing all the wrappers around.
She really got her Snickers in a Twix.
She really got her Snickers in a Twix.
#878
panky
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- Members
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- 1,776 posts
Camshaft & Stage Two Head
- Location: Cheshire
- Local Club: Northwest Casual Classics
Posted 12 January 2020 - 12:33 PM
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke - he just won the no bell prize
#879
HUBBA.HUBBA
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Up Into Fourth
- Location: Sutton Coldfield
- Local Club: Loan wolf
Posted 12 January 2020 - 02:15 PM
What do you call a Japanese car thief - Tommy Tookamota
#880
Cooperman
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- TMF+ Member
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- 23,039 posts
Uncle Cooperman, Voted Mr TMF 2011
- Location: Cambs.
- Local Club: MCR, HAMOC, Chelmsford M.C.
Posted 03 March 2020 - 12:01 PM
The kids in class were discussing viral infections and the teacher said that with a virus you become contageous. Then she asked who could make up a sentence using the word contageous.
Little Tommy put up his hand and the teacher said "Let's hear your sentence Tommy"
He said, "Last weekend the man next door came out to paint his garden fence and my dad said the he only had a 1/2" paint brush so it would take the contageous"!
#881
panky
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- Members
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- 1,776 posts
Camshaft & Stage Two Head
- Location: Cheshire
- Local Club: Northwest Casual Classics
Posted 18 November 2020 - 12:00 PM
About ten years ago I went for my first eye test. The very nice young lady asked me to look into a machine and say what I could see. "People locked up, pubs and shops closed, face masks everywhere and Donald Trump sulking for some reason" I was very confused.
"It's OK" the young lady said you don't need glasses, you've got 20/20 vision.
#882
xrocketengineer
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Rocket Man
- Location: Florida, USA
Posted 21 November 2020 - 04:07 PM
#883
xrocketengineer
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- Members
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- 1,637 posts
Rocket Man
- Location: Florida, USA
Posted 02 January 2021 - 07:30 PM
#884
M J W J
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One Carb Or Two?
- Location: Midlands
- Local Club: not yet
Posted 13 January 2021 - 11:12 PM
Earlier I told a girl that her eyebrows were drawn on too high. She seamed shocked.
#885
Quinlan minor
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- TMF+ Member
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One Carb Or Two?
- Location: London
- Local Club: LSMOC
Posted 14 January 2021 - 07:48 AM
Had a decorator in today. Got chatting to him and it turns out he’s a BA pilot, on furlough. Must say, he made a lovely job of the landing.
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