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Just For The 'pun' Of It


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#871 BlueAnorak

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Posted 27 August 2019 - 08:42 PM

Dont mention the Lettuce...

 

That's just the tip of the Iceberg!



#872 DJS911

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Posted 26 September 2019 - 08:05 AM

There’s a gang going through our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order, starting with XS.

The Police think they’re still at large.

#873 Itsaminithing

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Posted 23 October 2019 - 09:24 PM

Kirsty & Phil are about to launch a new series about feeding infants

          ....it's called Lactation, Lactation, Lactation.



#874 panky

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Posted 07 November 2019 - 01:46 PM

If you boil down a pan full of funny bones do you end up with a laughing stock



#875 BlueAnorak

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Posted 13 November 2019 - 11:33 PM

...and as I told the wife when she criticised the finish on a newly plastered wall.  That's just how I roll.



#876 panky

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Posted 13 November 2019 - 11:39 PM

When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die ..................that's a moray



#877 DJS911

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Posted 25 November 2019 - 10:22 PM

I really annoyed my wife yesterday by opening a box of Celebrations and changing all the wrappers around.

She really got her Snickers in a Twix.

#878 panky

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 12:33 PM

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke - he just won the no bell prize



#879 HUBBA.HUBBA

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Posted 12 January 2020 - 02:15 PM

What do you call a Japanese car thief - Tommy Tookamota

#880 Cooperman

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Posted 03 March 2020 - 12:01 PM

The kids in class were discussing viral infections and the teacher said that with a virus you become contageous. Then she asked who could make up a sentence using the word contageous.

 

Little Tommy put up his hand and the teacher said "Let's hear your sentence Tommy"

 

He said, "Last weekend the man next door came out to paint his garden fence and my dad said the he only had a 1/2" paint brush so it would take the contageous"!



#881 panky

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Posted 18 November 2020 - 12:00 PM

About ten years ago I went for my first eye test. The very nice young lady asked me to look into a machine and say what I could see. "People locked up, pubs and shops closed, face masks everywhere and Donald Trump sulking for some reason" I was very confused.

"It's OK" the young lady said you don't need glasses, you've got 20/20 vision.



#882 xrocketengineer

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Posted 21 November 2020 - 04:07 PM

low_Free%20Testing_cover.jpg

 






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