182 replies to this topic

[Deathrow]

Hello guys and girls, I'm going to make sure this remains in question format and not a moan, I promise .

Right, the situation:

I started seeing a girl last summer, about 3 months ago she finished it for reasons I still don't particularly understand. If I had to describe it in a single line though it would be that she didn't trust me. Now I do have to point out I didn't do anything to betray her trust, she just doesn't trust anyone. I still love her alot, but 3 months have gone by and there's not been a flutter that she even misses me, so I guess that's that unfortunatly and I need to move on.

That leads us to now!

I don't know if it's a flaw in my own character but I could never understand all these people that say "Being single is great!" and such lark because I'm always 10000% happier when I'm in a relationship with someone and can share things with them and do nice things for them to make me happy, in a way, making someone else happy makes me really really happy.

Anyhoo! I'd like to meet someone new but being a computer geek, it's not something I'm particularly good at doing. So I'm wondering what the best type of environment is to meet new people and possibly someone who might like to spend more time with me?

Where did you meet your partner?

How did it happen?

And just on a side note, to distract me and make myself feel like I'm working towards something better I'm working on my physical appearance more and more. Trying to take more exercise and trying to get in to the habbit of using my free weights more.

Does anyone have any tips on building muscle mass? Or even better, burning fat!

And there is my first thread in General Chat for quite some time! Thanks for reading .

Edited by Deathrow, 14 December 2009 - 06:04 PM.

[GreaseMonkey]

You want to burn fat?

Get a mini shell, drag it up and down your drive by yourself

Ask Shifty, it is a proper work out!!

[cooperdan]

Sorry to hear about the situation that you was in,

I met my partner at work actually was a saturday afternoon she was about to finish work and i plucked up the courage to say hello etc...not my strong point lol..

and we are still together to this day now fiancee...

Im not sure if there is a best place it just kind of happens when you least expect it, it was true for me....

I think physical appearance is not essential women should see past that, but saying that i know most dont unfortunatly.....

[Ouster]

I've just starting seeing a new girl I met at Uni, after a two year break from anything remotely girl related after my ex decided to screw me over. Now then, doing physics at Uni, living with two guys doing computer science means my opportunities for meeting girls are somewhat...limited! I hate nightclubs too (my dancing is something not too desirable, plus you can never have a conversation in there). Anyway, we were going out to the union, got some drinking games in before we left the house, then went to queue up. Queue was mahoosive, phoned my friend do see what was going down, he was running a social for the diving club so we decided to pop along for a bit to wait for the queue to shrink. I met her there, and it's been amazing ever since.

So my personal advice is to just go crazy, join a random club, and get a bit of dutch courage down you. I mean, what have you got to lose? I have a terrible fear of being rejected, but that night I threw caution to the wind. Strangely, it worked!

[biggav]

i'm probably not best placed to give any relationship advice right now...... I met my wife in the pub... we were introduced by mutual friends..... 8 years, 4 kids and 3 other men later, I left her.....

I started seeing the babysitter ... she's 18 and at Uni, i'm 30. But i hate long distance relationships and thought she would be better off having her freedom so i broke it off...

I then got charring to someone on facebook who was in the year below me at school and we started going out and got on really well, she has 2 kids and is divorced.... then my wife moved back into the house (i moved out) and she was hassleing me every 5 minutes which put me under loads of stress and I ended up putting the relationship on hold.... we still talk but i think i quite upset her by what happened... we got very serious very quickly.

So i'm in a bit of a quandry myself.

[Deathrow]

I do have a spare Mini shell kicking about in my garden! I might stick to my weights though haha. I'm trying to do 40 mins on the exercise bike whenever I can in the week, just a light 40 mins as apprantly, you burn more fat at a lower heart rate?

Cooperdan, that gives me faith in the saying "It'll happen when you least expect it" . Yeah unfortunatly, alot of girls put physical appearance really high up, especially at my age (University times) .

Ouster, my house:

Me: Computer Science
Chris: Computer Science
Will: Computer Science
Hayley: Art
Booth: History

Hayley has socials every now and then, I'm tempted to go along next time she has one .

Rejection absolutely terrifies me and I feel so unhappy about my physical appearance that I usually just assume that a girl will laugh at me, so I don't speak to her at all and skip right ahead to the feeling rejected part, even though I've not really tried.

[Deathrow]

i'm probably not best placed to give any relationship advice right now...... I met my wife in the pub... we were introduced by mutual friends..... 8 years, 4 kids and 3 other men later, I left her.....

I started seeing the babysitter ... she's 18 and at Uni, i'm 30. But i hate long distance relationships and thought she would be better off having her freedom so i broke it off...

I then got charring to someone on facebook who was in the year below me at school and we started going out and got on really well, she has 2 kids and is divorced.... then my wife moved back into the house (i moved out) and she was hassleing me every 5 minutes which put me under loads of stress and I ended up putting the relationship on hold.... we still talk but i think i quite upset her by what happened... we got very serious very quickly.

So i'm in a bit of a quandry myself.

I'm sorry to hear that biggav, I don't understand how people can bring themselves to cheat. I've seen people I know do it, I've had someone do it to me and I know I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone and I was only with that girl a year, nevermind your 8 years and 4 kids .

How did you meet the babysitter? Sounds like I might need to borrow someones kids! (That sounds all wrong but I'm sure you guys get it) .

[davidv]

Hi mate well sorry to here about the women anywhay on the subject nice long walks a push bike small meals at a gym they call it burn off have a jog

[petwar]

It may sound harsh mate but you just have to get over her and admit that you just both want different things, you state that you cant understand her reasoning lol, one bit of advice i have for you is

NEVER EVER TRY TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN AS YOU WILL GO INSANE TRYING!!!!!!!

I met my missis through a friend who went to school with her, one night i was wasted and she was working at the bar we where in. My mate said to me "do you want her number?" Before i knew it he walked up to her and asked for me (this is lame as *melon* by the way) surprise suprise she politely said "*melon* OFF" lol.

anyway a few months later i went out to a local pub and she was there with my friends friends lol. I got talking to her and was just myself, i didnt give her any chat up lines or owt like that. I went to the pub a few times and she was there and we kept chatting, after a bit i added her on good old facebook and we chatted on there. This was all about this time last year. We all went out on xmas eve and then we sort of clicked. Over the xmas period we went out with friends round sheffield for a few drinks and believe it or not she asked if i fancied going out for a date! Basically the rest is history and weve been together ever since!

The strange thing about it is neither of us where looking for anyone so it just shows you that when you meet someone right you will know. (dont get me wrong im not guna marry her or owt like that lol!)

As for turning yourself into a beefcake, join a gym, eat healthy, drink plenty of water but dont go down the route of steriods ect!

Be carefull what type of gym you join as these can really knock your confidence. I used to go to a local gym at a school near me, that was very friendly but the equipment was crap so i moved to a fitness first gym. The equipment is loads better but the people who go just seem to pose on the stuff and look at themselves in the mirrors!

It is also better to go with a friend when you train for a bit of encouragement and banter ect.

hope this helps ya!

[mini_mad69]

I do have a spare Mini shell kicking about in my garden! I might stick to my weights though haha. I'm trying to do 40 mins on the exercise bike whenever I can in the week, just a light 40 mins as apprantly, you burn more fat at a lower heart rate?

Cooperdan, that gives me faith in the saying "It'll happen when you least expect it" . Yeah unfortunatly, alot of girls put physical appearance really high up, especially at my age (University times) .

Ouster, my house:

Me: Computer Science
Chris: Computer Science
Will: Computer Science
Hayley: Art
Booth: History

Hayley has socials every now and then, I'm tempted to go along next time she has one .

Rejection absolutely terrifies me and I feel so unhappy about my physical appearance that I usually just assume that a girl will laugh at me, so I don't speak to her at all and skip right ahead to the feeling rejected part, even though I've not really tried.

It's all about confidence, if your timid you don't stand out. I can't speak because im not tooo good with the ladies, but I try. Im lucky, im welsh with a welsh accent at uni in England, which is the first thing people pick up on and start talking to me which is nice.

Oh and the best way to burn fat, is exercise as soon as you wake up, your metabolism hasn't started yet, so you burn fat rather than whats in your stomach. I think it's something like that anyway. Free weights don't burn so much fat as cardio exersize but is good for a bit of muscle gain.

I've just started on the weights, I've got a chin up bar in my room (£20 on ebay) and press ups and sit ups before bed. Im still nothing liek an athlete but it all helps.

The biggest thing in weight loss is nutrition unfortunatly, and I think that's my downfall, I love junk food, and beer, lot's and lot's of beer.

Just put yourself out there, be confident and someone will come along soon enough.


Ben

[biggav]

How did i meet the babysitter????

She used to look after my kids!!!!!!!!!!

She's absolutely gorgeous too!!!!!

[l_jonez]

i lernt a while ago not to worry what people think, just ask. the worst that can happen is the girl says she's not interested at which point you move on.

[Minigirlracer]

Im not sure if there is a best place it just kind of happens when you least expect it, it was true for me.....

Definately agree with this - I had just come out of a couple bad relationships where I was the one that got cheated on. I was just out with friends down our local hang out and met my other half there. It started off with the occasional hello etc etc and then we became an item...

Just happens when you least expect it

[biggav]

even if you only have a 1% success rate, you'll strike gold after 99 knockbacks.

Age helps... i'm far more confident now than i ever was.... success rate is more like 90% now

Biggest problem is keeping them happy and avoiding the psycho's!!!!!!

[asmith88]

well you aint gona meet someone sitting in the house, my rules of dating are:

1) Get out at every oppertunity (shoundnt be too hard at uni, never say no to a night out, u only live once)
2) A guys shoes are the most important point of his outfit! (girls back me up here?)
3) It aint about looks it about confidence (cliche but true!)
4) Dont be afraid to start a conversation, or finish it if its not goin well!

As for the muscle mass, from your profile picture you don't look like you need to loose weight, to build muscle mass its more weight, less reps. But be careful, if you have confidence issues, bulking up rarely solves them. Besides i think you look kina cute as you are!