48 replies to this topic

[danm]

Good news, The Toad only went and passed his MOT on Saturday! I have no idea how, he looks like a heap of turd, but regardless of his cosmetically challenge nature, he lives on to fight another day (or year)!

And you know what this means....

 

THAT'S RIGHT!

Another fruity adventure into the unknown for L2B 2015!

 

Sadly, I already have a ticket, though I might set off at 3am and drive around central london just for the sheer hillarity of last time.

 

So anyone who is attending, my bag of ******* will have black tinted rear windows with a big yellow '89 'The Toad' in fluorescent yellow.

Please don't stone him on the beach. A few heckles are acceptable, but if you kick or whack him I am pretty sure it would do something back, karma style, such as 'toading' into your ankles. Or give you herpes from touching his paintwork.

[danm]

LONDON TO BRIGHTON 2015 - GOT OVERTAKEN MY MY OWN WHEEL
 

Never happened thanks to the front left wheel literally shearing itself off with all four studs remaining in place. I can only assume it was some sort of black magic curse that seems to occur at any point I am L2B bound.

The day before I did some maintenance; and after doing a test drive, the left front wheel quite literally flew off going round a bend. My new shiny wheelnuts somehow bored the alloy of the minilight and the entire wheel slid itself off, clean off as the threads were ground away.
 
The brief comedy gold moments being:

1) The textbook bounce the wheel made as it flew off my side; before it hopped over the bonnet and overtook me.

and
 
2) The fat chav in the Corsa passing by and doing a rather good Nelson Muntz 'HA HAAAAA' whilst pointing at my misfortune.
 
Kinda glad it happened driving home at 30mph than on the motorway to be honest. Consider it a blessing in disguise.
 

Edited by danm, 12 May 2017 - 10:16 AM.

[danm]

LONDON TO BRIGHTON 2016 - CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY I DIDN'T GO

 

Sold my ticket again to a guy that collected it from Surrey this time. Though it seems the curse passed on with him as the poor sod caught his exhaust backbox on the iron flap where the electric gates sit and pulled the thing out of line.

 

The only other tragic highlight of 2016 being a bizarre act of defiance when the hellbeast seemed to have a senile moment and couldn't decide if it wanted to stop or go.

Stopped with the handbrake on; I couldn't engage between drive and park. Out of nowhere, the gearbox jolted into drive and started creeping forward. It sent itself hurtling into the rear end of my mates mini parked 2ft in front of me at about 2mph but all the power of a steamroller.

 

It happened so slowly I believe I aged 6 years in those 6 seconds.

 

Oh how I cried inside. For both of us. The dent can still be seen on the front right of the bonnet. Battle scars.

 

Piece of ****.

Edited by danm, 11 May 2017 - 05:35 PM.

[danm]

LONDON TO BRIGHTON 2017
 
Well.. he has has some minor upgrades to make him driveable. New coil springs, adjustable shocks; heavy duty arms and ties; new discs and pads; new arches; some spacers and a kick up the arse.
 
He's a little bit of a fatty now. The 12x6 deep dish wheels have been made ridiculously wider with the addition of spacers and longer studs to fill the sportspack arches. I think I have got away with it this time.
 
Contemplating how much more black I can have; and how much chrome I need.
 
Still need to fit that exhaust and rear louvre; the mk1 moustache; rear reverse lamp; front rally spotlamp pod and my plastic fantastic 80s steering wheel. Oh, and to sort out the interior as its (unbelievably) worse than the exterior.
 
Maybe in time for L2B. Maybe...
 

 
 

 
 

Edited by danm, 11 May 2017 - 10:07 PM.

[Lt-SilverDragon]

Just read through this thread and had a good chuckle at your stories 

[danm]

I've not even covered the time the sewage pipe burst on the roof either! Cripes, the more I remember the worse I realise this thing has had in terms of luck.

[leadly]

Enjoyable bed time reading!

 

Cheers

[danm]

He's in!

 

[danm]

...and he's up!

 

[danm]

And he passed with flying colours!

[Jgguinness]

Happy days, more opportunities for him to provide you with tales of woe

[RT2002MCS]

Excellent stories really amusing and well written, reminds me of my MG Metro that liked to scare the s*** out of me back in the 1980's by starting itself up in the early hours of the morning and driving into the fence, I used to leave it in gear, brakes were never the best.

[danm]

Excellent stories really amusing and well written, reminds me of my MG Metro that liked to scare the s*** out of me back in the 1980's by starting itself up in the early hours of the morning and driving into the fence, I used to leave it in gear, brakes were never the best.

 

That is absolutely hilarious! 

[danm]

London to Brighton 2017: The Chimp & Chicken

 

Video here>> https://www.facebook...?type=3

[Zeemax Adventure]

Ahhh so you're the chimp and the chicken I drove past   I saw the chicken first which made me laugh then the chimp just freaked me out