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#511 Designer

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Posted 21 June 2026 - 01:15 PM

Hi,

 

https://imgur.com/a/6z2I6a5

 

 

Not a man after my own heart far to generous. I would have said there's the bus stop

I will wait for you in the Cafe over there



#512 Shooter63

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Posted 24 June 2026 - 05:18 PM

A couple of topical ones for you

shooter

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#513 GT Jimmy

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Posted 25 June 2026 - 09:55 PM

How do you measure a snake? In inches, they don't have feet

#514 bpirie1000

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Posted 04 July 2026 - 11:53 PM

What do Bee's say to each other when it is hot outside?

Swarm.
..

#515 bpirie1000

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Posted 04 July 2026 - 11:56 PM

Why should you wear glasses in maths classes.

Because it helps... de'vision..

#516 bpirie1000

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Posted 04 July 2026 - 11:57 PM

I have been off work all week because my cow is sick..

The boss thinks i am milking it....

#517 bpirie1000

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Posted 04 July 2026 - 11:57 PM

I have a new aftershave called 'breadcrumbs'

The birds love it.....

#518 GT Jimmy

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Posted 05 July 2026 - 10:15 AM

I was talking to the postman today, he said he'd made love to every woman on our street except one, my wife said "I bet it's Annie from 33!"

Edited by GT Jimmy, 05 July 2026 - 10:20 AM.


#519 Rubbershorts

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Posted 05 July 2026 - 08:12 PM

My friends wife came home the other day in tears. As the cost of living crisis gathers momentum, she had taken to having sex with men for money.He was devastated. After the initial shock subsided, he became curious as to how many men she had slept with, and how much money she had made. "£101.01p she said"! Well, it doesn't sound that bad, but who gave you the 1p he asked. "Err, everyone"!

#520 Quinlan minor

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Posted 05 July 2026 - 08:45 PM

I'll pass.

Attached File  739276913_1549056673589696_3765484905592146578_n.jpg   26.71K   1 downloads



#521 GT Jimmy

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Posted 09 July 2026 - 05:47 PM

I had to get a priest round to perform an exorcism at our house, but I didn't pay him. It's being repossessed tomorrow

#522 GT Jimmy

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Posted 12 July 2026 - 07:37 PM

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I don't know, I've never had a lentil on my face

#523 Shooter63

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Posted 13 July 2026 - 07:14 PM

Nice car related one for you.

Shooter

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#524 Rubbershorts

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Posted Yesterday, 09:28 AM

Nice car related one for you.

Shooter

...and severely so!



#525 Shooter63

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Posted Today, 05:23 AM

A special one just for today.

Shooter

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