249 replies to this topic

[stevie77]

My wife told me she thought she saw my name on a loaf of bread today, turns out it said ‘thick cut’!

[GT Jimmy]

Just caught my pecker in my zipper, it hurts so much. I'm never wearing zip up boots again

[Shooter63]

One for you aeronautical types.

Shooter

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[bpirie1000]

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

You use spring water.

[bpirie1000]

Why is the accountant also good at being a parent? Having kids is taxing

[bpirie1000]

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!

[bpirie1000]

What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated

[bpirie1000]

What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk

[bpirie1000]

What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

[bpirie1000]

Why can't your hand be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

[bpirie1000]

Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web

[bpirie1000]

What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.

[bpirie1000]

Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed.

[bpirie1000]

What do you call a fibbing cat?
A lion.

[bpirie1000]

What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste