249 replies to this topic

[Designer]

Hi,

 

Here's one for those  who can remember the tv programme "The Flower Pot Men" and the way they talked.

 

Bill and Ben were in the bath 

Ben farted

Bill said it was four thirty.

 

 

Paddy

[GT Jimmy]

How do you cure your fear of a speed bump?

 

You slowly get over it

[mister bridger]

How do you cure your fear of a speed bump?

 

You slowly get over it

Why are they called speed bumps anyway? If anything they slow you down.

[bpirie1000]

Someone just called me and sneezed, then hung up.

I am getting tired of all these cold calls...

[bpirie1000]

I accidentally used the dog shampoo in the shower today..

I feel like such a good boy....

[GT Jimmy]

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down

[bpirie1000]

Why are mountains always invited to parties?
Because they’re hill areas.

[bpirie1000]

How do you find out about the weather at the top of a mountain?
You climate.

[bpirie1000]

Beer doesn’t make you fat. It makes you lean; against walls, doors, toilets…

[GT Jimmy]

Two fat blokes sat in a bar, one says "your round"

The other shouts "so are you, you fat git!!!"