607 replies to this topic

[GT Jimmy]

What do you call a bearded man who makes vases?

Hairy Potter

[GT Jimmy]

The 99 year old captain of our darts team has booked a getaway in the Caribbean for his birthday. He'll be hundred in Haiti

[Designer]

Hi,

 

Why did the actor Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name.

 

Because he didn't like his original name         Ewar Woowar

 

Paddy

[Rubbershorts]

Hi,

 

Why did the actor Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name.

 

Because he didn't like his original name         Ewar Woowar

 

Paddy

haha, that's an old one Paddy. I remember that at school. Daz.

[Designer]

Hi Daz,

 

I could probably go back a lot further but I don't want to damage my old brain trying to get it into reverse gear, I think any syncro in there is well worn.  

 

Paddy

[GT Jimmy]

What does a passenger aircraft and a nun have in common?

They both have a restricted cockpit

[Podman]

'A man went to confession Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fannie Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.

Soon thereafter, another man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Fannie Green?'

'A new woman in the neighborhood, the sinner replied.

Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest.

Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching. shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered,

'Is that Fannie Green?'

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just reflection from her shoes'

Edited by Podman, 27 July 2026 - 06:56 AM.

[bpirie1000]

Is it possible to take a skin graft from your buttock and transplant it on to someone who isn’t family?
Ass skin for a friend.....

[Quinlan minor]

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[bpirie1000]

What do you call for an investation of wasps...
A swat team...

[bpirie1000]

The woman who fell of the cruise ship last week has been named..

Eileen Dover

Edited by bpirie1000, 29 July 2026 - 01:59 PM.

[bpirie1000]

My dog ate a tin of scrabble tiles...

Inwas really worried.

So i took him to the vet...

No word yet.....

[bpirie1000]

I hate it when people say 'AGE' is only a number....
It is clearly a word....

[bpirie1000]

Do you want to know what the longest word in the world is...

SMILES...

The S's are a mile apart...

[bpirie1000]

Do you know what is the last part of your body is do die....

The eyes....

They die late.....