110 replies to this topic

[GottaDesigner]

One of Python's Best:

FRENCH KNIGHT:
"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English ker-nnnnniggitts. *Razz-razz-razz* I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

And again:

BEDEVERE: "What makes you think she is a witch?"
VILLAGER #3: "Well, she turned me into a newt."
BEDEVERE: "A newt?"
VILLAGER #3: "I got better."

And again:

ARTHUR: "The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?"
SOLDIER #1: "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
ARTHUR: "Not at all. They could be carried."
SOLDIER #1: "What? A swallow carrying a coconut?"
ARTHUR: "It could grip it by the husk!"
SOLDIER #1: "It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut!"

[BiMU]

"If he dies, he dies!" Ivan Drago Rocky 4

[GreaseMonkey]

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo f****** jet in that.

[GreaseMonkey]

Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the f*** can he get away from?

[GreaseMonkey]

Tyrone: I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.
Vinny: Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.

[MiNi FiZ]

"Looks like the best part of you slid down your mommas ass crack and landed on the bed sheet!"

[minili]

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ...
Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

[rozzer!]

rimmer: ready old chum?
dwayne dibbley: just let me check. thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, animal footprint chart, and 1 triple thick condom! you never know!

not strictly a film but a funny scene none the less!

[RobJaxon]

Anchorman

Ron Burgundy : I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and braun. That's what kind of man I am, you're just a woman with a small brain, with a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

Brick Tamland: I love...carpet. I love...desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.

Ron: Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast!
Brian: It jumped up a notch.
Ron: It did, didn't it?
Brick: Yea, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron: I saw that! Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick: Yea, there were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder.

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale's *******.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.
Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego?
Ron Burgundy: No. No.
Veronica Corningstone: No, that's what it means. Really.
Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.

Brian Fantana: Ron, I know it sounds harsh, but God does not want her to live.

Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going.
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!

Edited by RobJaxon, 10 April 2008 - 11:36 AM.

[Jammy]

Dude! Its a llama!

[Gilly2006]

" I see your drinking 1%, is that cause you think your fat? well your not, you could be drinking Whole if you wanted 2"
Napoleon dynamite.

[levon2807]

Couldn't think of anything else at the moment...from the movie "The Paper"


"Aw, Jesus, Bernie. Come on with the smoke. You know the doctor found nicotine in my urine again."

"Then keep your d*ck out of my ashtray."

[RobJaxon]

"Surely you can't be serious?'
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

Airplane!

young boy : I have brought you coffee. may i take a seat?
young girl : Yes, please do
young boy: how do you like your coffee
young girl : black........ like my men
young boy :

[v8mini]

what do you think you're doing, Dave?

[the.stroker]

king kong aint got sh@t on me! ( denzel washington training day )