110 replies to this topic

[Mini_Magic]

My best advice is to get into as many uncomfortable situations as possible and you'll eventually realise its not so bad.

It could also have the opposite effect and make things a lot worse.

Which I what I said on the first page.

How about putting your self into more and more situations where you feel less comfortable, then the more you do it in theory the more you get used to it.

I have tried that and it sort of works, but at the same time it makes me feel even worse about it. Especially when I think back after the event and reflect on things that I could have said or done differently.

I don't know, I'm a bit better then I use to be a year ago but it's still quite bad.

[Ethel]

As you know lots of other people have got it so its nothing to be ashamed or keep quite about

I have to admit, I just assumed that very few people had the same condition. Hence not talking about it until now.

Dr Ethel prescribes a large dose of alcohol and making a right prat of yourself until the symptoms subside.

That does seem to help a fair bit, but it's not really a healthy or permanent way of dealing with the problem.

Yes it is,

Anxiety is a perfectly natural response to situations that are new or which you have little control over. There's an emotional aspect to memory, in a very real biological sense, by stocking up on your supply positive memories where you were in control of the situation and overcame any anxiety you'll become less susceptible to it in the future. A few drinks to get over your inhibitions will do no harn as long as you don't become dependent on them. Put yourself in situations where you're in control but there are few consequences, karaoke , busking, volunteer to help with a charity street collection...


I wonder if all these syndromes help, to me S.A.D was seasonal adjustive disorder, would you have been better off in the days when you'd just've been 'a bit shy'.

[Jammy]

Sounds like my Sister a few years ago. She used to get panic attacks in crowded places, or just public places. She just 'grew out' of it I think. For many months she'd just stay at home, or work, then she gradually started to go out more, and now she's fine.

[Mini_Magic]

karaoke

Defiantly not, couldn't possibly stand up in front of lots of people and sing really badly.

[wolfys_mini]

i used too

[Ethel]

karaoke

Defiantly not, couldn't possibly stand up in front of lots of people and sing really badly.

Why not that's what you're supposed to do?

The anxiety is irrational if no harm results from the situation, and even if you think of things you should have done or said what's the point if you never put yourself in the position to benefit from your new found wisdom in the future?

That's surely another benefit to stepping up to the plate, if you hadn't you wouldn't even have given yourself the opportunity to think of what you could have done better ( George Bush must be a flipping genius by now ) . A Guaranteed certainty is that whatever you do or say will improve with the more experience you give yourself.

[biggav]

Don't fall for the trend of grouping symptoms together and calling it a syndrome or disorder... it's all to easy to do that. any problem can be worked on and overcome. I used to struggle like hell with people face to face, i now have a different persona which i pretty much slip into whenever i meet people... I find if you smile it makes all the difference..

That said, i have just been signed off with Acute Stress Reaction but thats due to doing too much, not eating enough, not sleeping enough, mortgage doubling and income halfing... where's my tablets?

[Mini_Magic]

The anxiety is irrational if no harm results from the situation

Of course it is, but that's the whole point. The disorder prevents you from overcoming these fears and emotions.

As I said before, it's a hell of a lot easier said then done. When you actually get in that uncomfortable situation, it takes over all your other thoughts and actions.

It's basically a complete avoidance of certain situations, instead of doing the normal thing of making the mistake, learning from it and just moving on.

As you said, if you don't put yourself in that situation then you'll never learn from it. It's very hard to build the courage to put yourself in that situation again if you have very strong negative feelings about it from a past experience.

[Jammy]

No matter what name you give it, the symptons are the same, and so is the cure. Not wanting to trivialise it, but all you need is a change of mindset. You need some way of controlling what you think. Next time your in that situation, the first step is to be able to control what your thinking about. The next step is to think about whatever it is that allows you to be/remain calm.

[666junky]

No matter what name you give it, the symptons are the same, and so is the cure. Not wanting to trivialise it, but all you need is a change of mindset. You need some way of controlling what you think. Next time your in that situation, the first step is to be able to control what your thinking about. The next step is to think about whatever it is that allows you to be/remain calm.

I agree completly (I havn't been told i have a condition of any sort but im now on medication for the problems i get).. My counsellor lady got me to go through a normal day, not actions, but my thoughts. There became a pattern whenever i was near crowds I needed to get away, simply because i felt myself better to be hidden away, I would run away from wherever i was. We broke it down into the thought processes and found it was the fear of others thoughts towards me, She taught me little tricks to get over the problems, such as: if someone was to stare directly at me, play up to it, make a thing of yourself, make them aware you know they are looking. almost like a "stuff you i dont care your looking" even if its just acting and your papping yourself inside, it does begin to work eventually.. you forget people around you.
Anyway, sorry for my ramblings, but the first step to changing your lifestyle is to break it down and find the triggers etc..

[biggav]

I used to struggle talking to groups of people, someone suggested imagining them all naked... which was fine till i did a talk to the sixth form at a Girls school.

[wolfys_mini]

I used to struggle talking to groups of people, someone suggested imagining them all naked... which was fine till i did a talk to the sixth form at a Girls school.

[Juju]

For such shy people you guys do very well at expressing yourselves & your emotions on here. Figure out how you do this through the keyboard & transpose it to face-to-face situations.

It's good to get yourself into situations where you are forced to overcome your fears. I have to give lectures. I hate being on stage. I've been told many times that you get used to it, but you only get used to knowing when the nausea & panic starts & when it will end! As long as you can recognise your behaviour, you can begin to control it a little bit.

[Mini_Magic]

Figure out how you do this through the keyboard

Because I know you guys won't laugh at me or be nasty about it.

Whether I can do it face to face is another matter.

[666junky]

sorry this is off topic, but oh my juju your back!! yeyyy!!

But i guess the computer is a screen to hide identity, i mean ive only met a few of you so to everyone else, i could be anyone.. its VERY easy to hide personality on the net. Also writing things out is easier than speaking. Today i wanted to say thankyou to dave for helping me but i couldnt say it so instead wrote him a little note and gave it to him.