896 replies to this topic

[Tamworthbay]

Heather mills has been bought a new false leg for Christmas. It's not a main present, more of a stocking filler.

[Tamworthbay]

A steam train enthusiast was run over whilst trying to get pictures of his favourite train. He was chuffed to bits.

[SA MINI]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

[SA MINI]

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

[SA MINI]

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

[MrBounce]

I slipped over outside a nightclub and put my hand in some vomit.

 

I felt sick.

[The Principal]

I knew a bloke who drove a mini into a lake, when i asked why he said 'I was trying to dip the headlights' when I asked why he left the door open he said 'I was trying to let the clutch out'

 

- Good ole Tommy Cooper RIP

Edited by The Principal, 24 September 2014 - 08:03 AM.

[Tamworthbay]

Went to see my grandad today and he told me all about how he'd been stealing from his job as a lollipop man.

I didn't want to believe him. But all the signs were there.

[Tamworthbay]

I am really impressed at a guy I know who has just lost his legs and throat in an horrendous accident. He isn't making a song and dance about it.

[Ben_O]

My girlfriend wants me to give up Polo so i have decided to chukker

[Ben_O]

It was getting harder and harder to find dirty clothes to fill up the washing machine. Eventually, I threw in the towel

[Tamworthbay]

I have been charged with murder for killing a man with sand paper. I only meant to rough him up a bit.

[Ben_O]

I couldn't resist buying myself a boat, especially as it was on sail.

 

I took it out yesterday and went diving, I got down to the sea bed and saw a strange quivering mass on the floor, turns out it was a nervous wreck

[Ben_O]

[dprac1ng]

I swear these are getting worse...