896 replies to this topic

[Ben_O]

Have you heard the headlines?

 

Eastern European gymnast electrocuted in Pole Volt!

[Ben_O]

Japanese cartoons are my biggest anime. 

[Tamworthbay]

Clarkson and his mates involved in more argy bargy

[sledgehammer]

Dyson sucks

 

unless it's the the hand drier - then it blows

[phebs]

Had a really good joke for here but as my hamster just died it doesnt seem right...... poor little guy was drunk and died at the wheel.!!!!!!

[xrocketengineer]

When checking for fever, make sure to use the right thermometer. The difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer is just the taste.

Edited by xrocketengineer, 07 October 2014 - 02:47 PM.

[Tamworthbay]

I told my fates about a nurse who tried to shove a thermometer between my nads, my mate said 'rectum?', I said no but they hurt like hell for a while.

[Ben_O]

I used to like cheese but it's really started to grate on me now.

 

I don't think my table likes our new house, ever since we moved in, it's been legless.

 

I came on a bit strong with a prune the other night. I didn't realise it wasn't a date.

 

I don't like coffee, it's not my cup of tea

[Tamworthbay]

I kicked a farmer in the nads today. He has a couple of acres.

[Ben_O]

Morrisons are charging 50p to use the tyre pump at the petrol station now!

 

Oh well that's inflation for you....

[Tamworthbay]

Sat here watching the x factor, it's foul.

[toyboy396]

Bumped into the bloke who invented the windowsill today..

 

What a ledge !!!

[Tamworthbay]

There is a weird bloke sat on my fence with a fishing rod. You wouldn't catch me doing that.

[toyboy396]

I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing – serves him right. 

 

 

[Tamworthbay]

I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing – serves him right. [/size]

my mates butler has no arms or legs, clever dick.