497 replies to this topic

[stuart bowes]

 

...Managing Director of Domestic Affairs..

 

 

[stevie77]

I use to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.

[stevie77]

I ate horse at a restaurant once, it wasn’t great.
Starter was alright, but the mane was dreadful.

[stevie77]

Clowns divorce - custardy battle.

[stevie77]

In court I was found guilty of being egotistical.
I am appealing.

[stevie77]

Last year I had a great joke about inflation.
But it’s hardly worth it now.

[GT Jimmy]

A traffic cop pulled up alongside a speeding car on a dual carriage way, as he peered through the window he was shocked to see the beautiful blonde behind the wheel was knitting. "PULL OVER!!" he shouts. NO!" the blonde yelled back, "it's a scarf!!"

Edited by GT Jimmy, 12 October 2025 - 08:22 PM.

[GT Jimmy]

My wife came home from work and asked me to remove her blouse, then take off her skirt. I'm not allowed to wear her clothes anymore

[bpirie1000]

What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them?
NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

[bpirie1000]

A weasel walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel

[bpirie1000]

I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I now live in constant fear.

[bpirie1000]

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”
The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!”

[bpirie1000]

What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.

[GT Jimmy]

A brain goes into a bar, the bartender says, "I'm not serving you, you're out of your head!"

[bpirie1000]

Felt
uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out you have reached your final destination.