497 replies to this topic

[Shooter63]

This one made me smile

Shooter

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[Podman]

My son rang me to say that he'd failed his exam in Aboriginal Music.

I said "Didja redo it?"

[GT Jimmy]

I couldn't understand why my laptop kept playing love songs, then I realised it's a Dell

[Shooter63]

Another jem

Shooter

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[GT Jimmy]

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?

He would stop at nothing to avoid them

[mpialan]

I got really bored at the weekend so I opened a box of Celebrations and swapped all the wrappers around. My wife wasn't very happy, she got her Snickers in a Twix!

[Shooter63]

Nice festive one for you

Shooter

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[Podman]

I went to the local hardware shop and asked if they had any mouse-traps. The woman took ages looking for them. 

i said "Can you hurry up, I've got a train to catch?"

"Ooh" she said, "I don't think we've got any that big!"

[Designer]

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How do you drink from that."   

[Shooter63]

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
 
 
 
 
 
 
"How do you drink from that."   

I think I was the naked man

Shooter

[Quinlan minor]

No, it was me and the elephant said "You're obviously a big drinker."

[Designer]

Hi

 

Snow white, Superman and Pinocchio are out for a stroll in town one day.

As they walk, they come across a sign:"Beauty Contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I'am entering" says Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out and the other two ask her, "Well, how did you do?"

"First place," says Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.

After half an hour he returns and the other two ask him, "How did you make out?"

"First place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt it?"

They continue walking when they see a third sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio says, "This is mine."

Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes

"What happened?" the other two asked.

"Who the hell is Rachel Reeves" asks Pinocchio.

 

 

Paddy

 

 

       

Edited by Designer, 02 December 2025 - 05:14 PM.

[GT Jimmy]

I met a beautiful girl in a bar, she said if I followed her outside she'd show me a good time

She did 100 meters in 9.8 seconds

[Shooter63]

Well I found it funny

 

Shooter

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[GT Jimmy]

How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it's on the house