497 replies to this topic

[bpirie1000]

How do snowmen shop online?

They use the winter-net

[bpirie1000]

My son needs a job. I told him he should apply for The Search And Rescue Team.

They're always looking for someone.

[Shooter63]

I know this isn't really a joke bit it did make me smile and sort of sums up military humour 

 

Shooter

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[Shooter63]

You can tell if it's cold because you trip over dog sh#t instead of treading in it.

 

Shooter

[bpirie1000]

I tripped over a box of hankies last night. Went to the Dr today..

They said it was only TISSUE damage...

[GT Jimmy]

A mummy has been discovered in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate, it's believed to be Pharaoh Roshay

[Shooter63]

Have you noticed if you say " What's that wan### done today" 90%"of people know who you are talking about.

 

Shooter

[Quinlan minor]

Only honest car dealer on the planet?

 

 

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[Shooter63]

If money isn't bringing you happiness then you probably bought an EV.

 

shooter

[bpirie1000]

Saw a guy carrying 12 pints of lager last night..
I thought wow that guy can fairly hold his drink...

[bpirie1000]

Does anyone know a cure for excessive ear wax?
If you do, please give me a shout....

[bpirie1000]

My wife is a hoarder and refuses to throw away her old magazines. She has a lot of issues

[bpirie1000]

I went to a pilates class the other day, but it was rubbish.
There were no pies or lattes....

[bpirie1000]

I got hired at the thermometer factory.

It’s just a temp job.
😂😂

[greenwheels]

A computer programmer was asked by his wife to do some shopping on his way home.

she said - bring a carton of milk, 

if they have eggs bring six.

He arrived home with six cartons of milk.