497 replies to this topic

[bpirie1000]

My friend applied for a job at Citreon. Sent them a list of everything he has done in the past.

Really thought he was going to get it......


Unfortunatly, He missed out

Apparently they like 2cv's

[bpirie1000]

My cousin got stung by a bee on the forehead; he’s at the ER now, his face is all swollen and bruised he almost died.

Luckily, I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel!

[bpirie1000]

My girlfriend said if i don't marry her soon she will kill me....

It is a matter of WIFE or Death....

[bpirie1000]

My wife says she wants me to blow cool air on her when she gets hot...

I don't like it... i am not a fan....

[bpirie1000]

Have you head about my new Corduroy pillow cases.

I am making headlines...

[bpirie1000]

I have got a great new idea about a thought activated air freshner.

Makes scents when you think about it....

[bpirie1000]

I was walking down the street yesterday and some kid threw cheese at me.

I shouted back at him. 'That is not very mature'...

[bpirie1000]

I was out with my pal yesterday and he kept going in about the big wet hole in the ground.

I know he means well....

[bpirie1000]

Saw a flying saucer last night.

It was right after the flying cup my wife threw at me..

[bpirie1000]

I once had a fight in a toilet..

Some serious **** went down..

[bpirie1000]

My wife and i had an argument about which vowel was most important.

'I' won....

[bpirie1000]

Someone stole my Coffee earlier...

Now i am at the police station looking at mug shots...

[bpirie1000]

I stayed up all night trying to work out where the sun was.

Then it dawned on me...

[bpirie1000]

I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after giving my first lesson.

Deep down i realised. It wasn't for me...

[bpirie1000]

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches.

It doesn't. It just ******* on the floor...