182 replies to this topic

[BoboGib]

Oh just remembered. A GREAT way to break the ice is THIS you may laugh but it works, ask a girl if she wants a puppy, and watch her face light up when you have made her one. It's a unique way to break the ice and shows you have a sense of humor. Only really works on a night out.

[danie garry]

why would u carry a few balloons on a night out?!?!
oooohhhhhhh baloons!!!!

[tuktuk]

Deathrow, you're a cool chap and you deserve someone to be happy with

Hope everything turns out well

[Deathrow]

Topman...

its a clothing store before you ask...lol

Haha, now you see, that's one I know. I've never been in, but I know of it!

My old jeans are...Primark. *awaits abuse, hehe*

I met my wife at work....

Just be yourself. If your house mate don't go out then leave them at home, sure there are some people you know that go out regularly. If you see a girl you would like to talk to then the old "can I buy you a drink" is a good way to break the ice. Just remember to say it to her face. Or compliment her an her clothes, "Hi i like your dress/jumper/shoes etc" If they want to talk they will. Rejection is something you just have to put up with.

If you see someone during the day, ask them if they would like to go for a coffee.

"Hi, this is going to sound weird as we've just met, but would you like to go for a coffee sometime" again, straight yes or no. If she says yes, don't forget to ask for her number, it always helps.

As for clothes, a nice pair of shoes always helps. If you don't like wearing proper shoes then get something like These Feel like your wearing trainers but still smart enough when worn with a nice pair of boot cut jeans.

I'm no expert but this is all stuff i've learnt along the way. Confidence will build as you get to know more people.

Expert or not, experience being shared is helpful .

Is it considered "ok" to wander up to a stranger in the middle of the day and ask if they want to go for coffee? I feel if I even thought of doing anything like that my house mates would call me a weirdo or something.

Oh just remembered. A GREAT way to break the ice is THIS you may laugh but it works, ask a girl if she wants a puppy, and watch her face light up when you have made her one. It's a unique way to break the ice and shows you have a sense of humor. Only really works on a night out.

That's actually awesome and hilarious at the same time. However, I doubt I'd ever be brave enough to ask haha and if I was brave enough I'd mess it up because I was drunk haha.

Deathrow, you're a cool chap and you deserve someone to be happy with

Hope everything turns out well

Cheers dude . I'm hoping I can better myself and improve my confidence so I can go and meet someone worthwhile .

[Robert]

I add my two penneth to the discussion - although I am probably the world's worst when it comes to Women!

However... Don't rush into finding someone new - us humans are social creatures and we like to be together with others, but it is sometimes good to take time to find yourself and to decide what you want and where you want to be.

My last relationship lasted for 13 years - together for a year, long distance for the next two years, then I moved to Germany to be with her and we lived together for two years before getting married. Married for eight years and then she left me....

Of course I want to meet someone new, but I also realise that part of me is looking to purely replace what I lost. I have come to realise that at the moment I need time to sort myself out! I am not saying this is the case for you, but it is something to think about.

Don't worry about chatting to people - I realise it is hard (even harder when you haven't done it for a while). My first attempt resulted in the most incredibly, ham-fisted, cringeworthy attempt at a chat-up line that I have ever come out with. However, despite that I have made a very good friend as a result.

Another thing to remember is that women are just as afraid of being knocked back as you are. They are not a totally alien species, they are attracted to men in the same way that we are attracted to them. Rejection is fine - there are loads of reasons why somebody would reject you, and it probably has little or nothing to do with the way you look. If they do laugh at you -- or something similar -- then they weren't worth it anyway. You have already proved that you can meet someone, because you have already done it - Ok, she left you but unfortunately that happens.

As for when you'll meet somebody new - it will happen at a time when you least expect it. I met my wife at a time in my life when the absolutely last thing on my mind was a relationship of any kind. I had just moved to a new town, and started a new job.

If all else fails, make sure you hang onto the Mini! During a general mick taking session, a mate of mine told me I needed to get a new car as my "Mr Family Man" Zafira was hopeless - he presented me with a list of possible cars, it included impractical ones (Karmann Ghia, Series 3 Landy), too expensive ones (Various Ferraris) and a Mini. Personally, I am unconvinced - but you never know!

(and no - that's not the reason why I bought one!)

Edited by Robert, 15 December 2009 - 10:59 AM.

[davidv]

I think you will find a good one Women do the chatting up these days if they like you im sure they will confirm that Women do like a smart fresh man and the nice shoes they always look at a mans hands to even nice finger nails all clean etc.. and a nice aftershave they love big sports cars to and to use your mobile phone all day

[BoboGib]

My mate went up to a random girl when he started collage. They were both a little embarrassed but ended up being together for 5 years before he moved away

[Deathrow]

Speaking of aftershave, I spent a good hour picking some today because my mum wanted to get me some for christmas so that's sorted.

I also went to the opticions and got a new prescripion, in 2 years my eyes have hardly changed at all, which apparantly is a very good sign at my age. I'm going to have browse through some frames with a friend to get a second opinion .

Oh I won't sell the Mini. Actually, the truth behind my Mini is that I wanted one when I passed my test but at the time my girlfriend (who was a little older than me) wanted one too but her parents made her get a Ford Ka for safety and reliability. So my girlfriend said, if you get a Mini, I'll leave you because i'ts my car.

In the end, she cheated on me and we broke up, she went off with the guy she cheated on me for and I went and found Elliot.

I do want a new car, but if I end up getting on, it'll be in addition to the Mini, not instead of. I've got my eye on a Corsa C 1.8 SRi actually, but I need to save for that.

It all sounds very encouraging . I'll just have to make myself as happy as I can get with myself so I feel better about approaching people and saying hi. Then just go for it in the new year.

[asmith88]

If you want a cheap car to impress the ladies get an E30 bmw with a 325 sport bodykit. £800 car + £200 body kit +£200 alloys. My boyfiend got one a year ago and the amount of looks he gets from girls, (even when im in the feckin car!) its rediculous, although i must say he does look rather good in it!

[davidv]

I wear lens. and specs at my age i need them have the square frames women like them to ask them

[Black.Ghost]

Catch a goat you've pulled always worked!

I love that advert.

When i met my now wife,I was about 18 and training as a golf professional.

The guy I was training under owned a couple of golf shops and his 16 year old daughter came in for a summer job,all went well apart from me getting sacked for shagging said daughter but apart from that - happy days!

Hilarious Worth the sack me thinks. Did he offer you your job back when you proposed to her? He should of done..

As for the main topic, I know exactly where you are coming from. I never used to be the most confident person in the world and I too have just been in exactly the same position as you in the relationship side. I still love her but she is less than interested..but now Im happy with it. Im going to chill out, enjoy Christmas and go out loads. I know money might be an issue but you dont always have to do expensive stuff.

The one thing I have learnt over time though - dutch courage is great. *drunk* is not. Honestly, its not cool at all when trying to chatch up a girl. By all means go out and get drunk, but don't expect to chatch anyone up that night. Although having said that, me and my ex were both drunk but she pulled me haha.

I went out for a few drinks last night and it was a good night. When I got back, a girl I know from a while ago was on Facebook and we started chatting. I fancied her when we first met (which was before I got with my ex I'd like to point out), and the first time I met her I gave her a lift home as I was the only one who hadn't been drinking. I dropped her off and was a perfect gentleman. Anyway, when we got talking last night she told me she had fancied me too and the whole being a gentleman thing was apparently awesome. We spent the whole day texting each other today whilst at work. Who knows if it will lead to anything long term, but we are going to meet up again in a couple of days when Im back in the UK.

My advice: just go for it. Seriously nothing to lose.

As for the gym side, if you spend too much time worrying about it, it will consume you. The internet will just screw you up with it all. The best way is just eat healthy, exercise reguarly and do things like run up stairs instead of walking slowly up. Use the stairs instead of a lift in car parks..it all helps a litte.

There are plenty of nice girls out there that arent shallow enough to be just into looks. Being funny and nice are big influences.

Oh yeah, and on the fashion side I truly suck. My ex and all my mates here tell/told me how bad my shirts are haha. I don't care that much though. When I go clothes shopping, I'll scan a rack find something I half like pick the size and job done. Hence my bad waldrobe that is gradually being updated.

Good luck, and have a good Christmas.

[Deathrow]

If you want a cheap car to impress the ladies get an E30 bmw with a 325 sport bodykit. £800 car + £200 body kit +£200 alloys. My boyfiend got one a year ago and the amount of looks he gets from girls, (even when im in the feckin car!) its rediculous, although i must say he does look rather good in it!

Oh I don't think I'd buy a car solely to impress the ladies, if they don't like the Mini, they're quite welcome to walk on by. Haha.

I was looking at the Corsa 1.8 SRi for the sake of ease of shopping and stuff. We'll see though, when I've got Elliot back on the tarmac I'll probably just wind up spending the money on her instead. I'd love a Vauxhall engine .

I'm going to slowly but surely put money aside in to a fund so that the next time rust rears its ugly head I can splash out and have the work done for me rather than have to live without her for months and months (we're over a year now) while I find time to do the work.

I'm very understanding of the Dutch Courage vs. Drunk situation as well, a few weeks ago I found just the right amount to get me feeling pretty good and confident without being too far gone. It was great as well as I only need to buy one drink actually in town and then I was sober by the time I walked home .

[Robert]

It all sounds very encouraging . I'll just have to make myself as happy as I can get with myself so I feel better about approaching people and saying hi. Then just go for it in the new year.

That's the spirit. After all, if you don't feel happy with yourself, how can you expect anyone else to be happy with you?!?

As for the gym side, if you spend too much time worrying about it, it will consume you.

Good advice there! You'll just turn into another muscle-head and there are enough of those around.

Edited by Robert, 15 December 2009 - 07:37 PM.

[minili]

I met my other half through TMF 2 & 1/2 years ago, going to Mini meets

We've been together nearly 2 years and he now lives with me

[yorkshirechris]

The best thing in my opinion is not to seem desperate and not go actively looking for someone. If you fancy someone at work, then ask them if they fancy coming out for a drink some time. "A coffee" sounds a bit weird to me.

Good things come to those who wait

I met Lou online, no it wasn't a match.com miracle but more of a "friendship" (we'd been speaking online for about 6 or 7 years) that led to us meeting up in real life and getting on like a house on fire. There was 364 miles between us to start off with, so I'm pretty sure if you're eyeing up a bird you work with then this could be a bit of inspiration to go ask her out for a beer

EDIT: What I mean by desperation is: don't let it weigh on your mind all the time. Because then when you do finally get the courage to invite someone out, it will all come out wrong and will be categorised as "epic fail" . Take your time. What's the rush?

Edited by yorkshirechris, 15 December 2009 - 07:53 PM.