896 replies to this topic

[Tamworthbay]

And there was me thinking Phil McCrackin was a Scottish dentist, last time I make that mistake.

[mini93]

What do we want?!

Low flying Aeroplane noises!

When do we want it?!

NEEEEYYYOOOOOWWWWWWW!

 

 

 

What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair?

 

Virgin Mobile

[New game mini]

What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair?
 
Virgin Mobile [/quote]

Hey i'll have have nun of ur religious jokes 😁

What do you call a sleep walking nun?

A roaming Catholic 😁

[Ben_O]

Did you hear about that new broom that came out?

 

It's sweeping the nation

Edited by Ben_O, 04 August 2015 - 02:44 AM.

[Juju]

Did you see on the news about the clairvoyant with dwarfism who escaped from prison?

 

 

 

Police are warning that there's a small medium at large.

[Tamworthbay]

What do we want?!
Low flying Aeroplane noises!
When do we want it?!
NEEEEYYYOOOOOWWWWWWW!
 
 
 
What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair?
 
Virgin Mobile

What do we want?
A cure for Tourette's
When do we want it?
F@*king now you stupid dumbs#%t w%#€{r

[New game mini]

I've just split up with my cross eyed girlfriend.

I think she was seeing someone behind my back.

[New game mini]

My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I was going to make a boat out of spaghetti. Until I floated straight pasta.

[DJS911]

My GP has just explained that my Diarrhoea is hereditary - it runs in my genes.

[DJS911]

My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other:
She's my golden buttercup and I'm her useless sack of sh*t.

[Tamworthbay]

I had an idea to design breast implants to help with buoyancy whilst scuba diving but they floated too well. Another of my ideas goes tits up.

[Tamworthbay]

I thought my Irish mate had retrained to work on cars as he told me he was a diesel fitter, turns out he checks the sizes of women's underwear.

[New game mini]

Another pasta based pun from me I'm afraid..then again, there's nothing wrong with a fusilli pasta puns

[Tamworthbay]

Top ten from this years Fringe:

1: Darren Walsh: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans-free.”

2: Stewart Francis: “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse... but enough about Kanye West.”

3: Adam Hess: “Surely every car is a people carrier?”

4: Masai Graham: “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.”

5: Dave Green: “If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go.”

6: Mark Nelson: “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.”

7: Tom Parry: “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day.”

8: Alun Cochrane: “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.”

9: Simon Munnery: “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle.”

10: Grace The Child: “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for...”

If I am honest I think we have done better on here but some good ones in there.

[DJS911]

Apparently I snore so loudly I scare everyone in the car when I'm driving.