498 replies to this topic

[bpirie1000]

Let’s ban pre-shredded cheese.

Make Britain grate again !

[bpirie1000]

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

[Designer]

I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent.

It goes without saying…

 

Hi

 

No good for my missus then.

 

Paddy

[bpirie1000]

If you didn’t like my cheese joke earlier today…

You must be laughtose intolerant!

[bpirie1000]

My car failed it’s emissions test today….

Fuming!

[bpirie1000]

Sometimes I tuck my knees up into my chest and lean forward.

That’s just the way I roll

[bpirie1000]

I was having an argument with my wife last night and she accused me of being childish.

What does she know?

She’s just a stinky poo face…

[bpirie1000]

The condition of the man who was mauled at the Teddy bear’s picnic is said to be improving but he’s not out of the woods yet!

[bpirie1000]

Look, I’m all for colouring books …

But dot-to-dots?

That’s where I draw the line

[bpirie1000]

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out.

I was like OMg …

[bpirie1000]

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said, “Let’s take this upstairs.”

“Okay,” I said, ” You grab one end and I’ll grab the other.”

[bpirie1000]

A furniture store keeps calling me.

But all I wanted was one night stand

[bpirie1000]

I once dated a girl with fiery red hair and a pale white thin body.

We met on match.com

[bpirie1000]

The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.

[bpirie1000]

I used to go out with the lady who did the voice for the speaking clock.

We had a big falling out though, and now she won’t give me the time of day…